Saturday, November 11, 2006

Let it snow

I don't know how well I am going to adjust to this colder weather. I do not do well in the cold, my bones ache and I just get generally grumpy. But the kids love it. They are really looking forward to having a lot of snow. I am wishing that dh had gotten sent to Arizona. It was -2 the other night. Seriously, it's just barely November, not even techinically winter. Brrrr. I tried to get all three of them to just stay still and look at me long enough to take a picture. Ha what a joke. I have immense respect for portrait photographers now. It was just a little snow but
there were already several car accidents. And you should have seen the line at the tire place. The whole parking lot was filled with cars and then the net two blocks. Just outrageous. I don't think I'll be getting studded tires anytime soon.

On better news we will probably be moving next weekend. I can't wait to get into a real house, get to take a bath in a real tub, cook in a real oven, instead of one that's a step up from a doll house. I'll be sure to post some pics once we get moved in. It'll be pretty bare, we don't have much furniture stored so we'll have to shop around for somethings like a couch. I don't care if I have to sit on the floor, it'll be a real house. Yah!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Little Update

We are somewhat settled here in Central Oregon. We are looking for a house to rent. We'll be here for 6 months probably and I am getting really cramped. It's kind of hard to think that we've been doing this for a year. I remember when we first bought the trailer and started traveling that I wondered if it was going to work. I worried about there being room for Journey to learn to crawl and walk. I worried about the lack of privacy, can you believe that there weren't locks on any of the interior doors? Who doesn't have a lock on thier bathroom door? I was afraid of burning myself every time that I lit the stove, I must have jumped back a couple inches each time.

So now we are used to it and it feels like home. It's a distant memory living in a realy house. And I get my husband home every night. I think that this whole thing has brought us a lot closer together, and not just physically. We rarely fight anymore. It's odd that we'd spend so litle time together before and spend half of that bickering. I think that the financial strain of the rental and such being gone has helped a lot. At least as far as I am concerned. Of course we still argue about what a slob I am. But it seems that we are both getting back to basics in a sense and connecting more. Who would have thought that living in a travel trailer and moving every few months would be good for a family?

Monday, October 16, 2006

Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awarness

I'm lighting a candle for all the lost babies, including my own. We all have different ways of dealing with loss. I guess writing about it helps me. I was hard getting prenant after losing a child, each time was different. There was a certain guilt because it could have been prevented, just a little stitch and my baby would have lived. I guess I still live with that. I don't know if you believe in reincarnation but there was a feeling that my baby came back to me.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Happy Birthday Sapphire

Dark lashes spider walk across pale cheeks
Freckles dance between the webs
Spinning dreams behind eyelids.

Snuffling breath shallow in your chest
Whistling through your missing teeth
Giggling sighs under tangled sheets.

I cherish the moments of angelic serenity
That are missing in the daylight,
As I watch you while you sleep..

I can't believe it's been 9 years. I still remember the first time I saw you, all blue and purple over the sheet for the few moments before they wisked you off to the NICU. I was so scared and so in love with you. When I finally got to hold you I just stared, you were such a miracle. One that I wasn't expecting and didn't think I'd have. I count my blessings everyday. You are still my miracle. I love you.

A Last Look At Summer

The park that we are staying in has an outdoor pool. All summer long the kids have been swimming in it. It's great. You should see little Journey. The first time that I put him in the water he immediately started doggy paddling. He was litterally pushing himself out of my arms trying to swim around the pool. It was just instinctive. I call him my little water puppy.

Kenzie has started swimming without his lifejacket. He swims like a mermaid. Both legs together kinds of waving along. He only swims under water. He has yet to learn to bring his head up to breath and then go back under. So he'll swim to you or along the wall where he can touch.

Now Sapphire is scared of the water. She's the only child that's had swimming lessons yet she won't swim where she can't touch. She will only doggy paddle and is completely resistant to me or dh trying to teach her any other way. We worked out the goal that if she swam all the way from one end of the pool to the other that she could have a pool party. Well the pool is now closed for the season and no party. I'm sad because I don't want her to miss out on things because of fear. Still she loves the water, she just can't really swim

My Grand Opening

Preview is up, Grand opening set for Sept. 23 at noon. There are two free raffles and free shipping on all items. Check it out.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Happy Birthday Mckenzie

I cannot believe that in a matter of days you are going to be four. Time has flown. The past year has certainly been exciting with potty training, learning to ride a bike and 911 calls and ambulance rides. I don't know if I'll live to see you grow up with as much stress as this past year had brought. Still you are my wild child, my little dude, a dreamer who dashes out without thinking. I admire you courage and loving heart. My little lover, to whom everyone is a friend. I'm sure over the years you will cause more than a few gray hairs for me. I wouldn't have it any other way.


Monday, August 07, 2006

Nursing baby

I was surprised to say the least to hear about this. Breasts are made for nourishing your child. There is nothing offensive about nursing a baby. I do it every day, several times a day, in public too! I know, shocking! And you thought that I was such a nice girl. I think this woman addressed this so eloquently. I love nursing my son. It's the one time where he slows down and takes a moment to just be. He sits in my lap stroking my hair and occasionally smiling at me around my breast with milk drooling down. How can you think that is offensive? It's nothing but love.

Where we live

So this is where we live. It looks so huge stretched out behind my dh's work truck. Like someone took a regular trailer and pulled. The two windows stacked at the end is the kids bunk beds. The other end is our bedroom, it's an actual room, with a door. I know that sounds stupid but living in such a small space its wonderful to have some privacy. Just ignore the mess. With three kids it's hard to keep anything clean for long.

Friday, August 04, 2006

My family reunion

This year it was at Willamette Mission State Park. It's the first year I've been here. Last year we missed it because we were moving. As you drive in there are fields of corn and rows upon rows of berries. It's rather dry though. We didn't have a camp fire this year. It was still fun. One of my cousins had a son just under a month after Journey was born so he had a playmate. There was so much food. I swear I gained back the 15lbs that I lost. Yum, fresh made ice cream. Here's the kids all standing around waiting for the ice cream to be ready. The stood there for like 20 minutes waiting and then gave up and went to play. Of course it was only like ten more minutes before it was done but I admire their patience.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

My New Endeavor

I've been looking for something that I can do from home to help supplement our income and give me some purpose. I need something to keep my hands busy. So I started sewing, a lot. I've already had two orders. Although do they count if it's your mom?
Isn't it just adorable? Makes me want another little one around the house. ((sigh)) Not that that is going to happen anytime soon as I am fixed. But such is life. I am also making bags, reversible. I've made so many of them already although I've only sold one. Not too good at this business thing. I really don't think that I have all the skills that I need to really get this off the ground but I'm working on it.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Crater Lake National Park

This past weekend dh and I took the kids to visit Crater Lake. I'd never been before. It is the deepest natural lake in the US. It's formed in the caldera of a volcano that exploded thousands of years ago. It's beautiful. It's so blue. The only thing that I didn't like was the lack of guardrails at most places. Not too child friendly. Huge drop off, no guardrails and a toddler with impulse control. Can we say stress? So after the first couple places we decided to do the driving tour. I will take the kids back sometime this week to go to the visitor center and museum.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Do you believe in ghosts?

A Little Lost

Well it's been at least a month since I've written anything. I've been feeling a little lost. It's like talking to my best friend, then she goes on vacation and I can't chat with her. I miss it. I know that the best way to remedy it is to just sit down and type but it's hard. I have trouble focusing and can't seem to stay on subject. I have about a 1/4 of a book written. I left my main character pregnant with twins and that's about it. I have a lot more planned for it and I just can't get to it. I also have about three other half written books. So what is the problem that I can't finish what I start? Short attention span? Maybe...maybe just too many kids not enough time.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Happy Anniversary

Not only did we celebrate our 6th anniversary the whole nation did. We always have a big party. That's what we get for getting married on the 4th of July. We went camping and had a wonderful time. The weather was warm and sunny. We spent time with both of our families. Then on the 4th enjoyed a huge fireworks display. I couldn't have asked for a nicer weekend. I hope that everyone else enjoyed thiers.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Balloon's over Bend

Dh's family came over this way to visit for the weekend. I think that we wore them out. On Saturday evening we went to the evening balloon light up. It was really cool. You could go out and tlak to the people as they were waiting to set up the balloons. There was live music, the kids danced themselves sleepy. Which was a good thing because then they were tired enough to sit still and watch them blow up the balloons. They just glowed in the evening dusk. It was a beautiful site. Next year if we are over this way we'll get up early to watch the balloons take off. They had 20-30 balloons take off in the way early morning that Saturday but we didn't want to wake up.

The next morning we got up and went to another balloon thing. they had three balloons set up in the high school field. They were giving free balloon rides. Not really rides. You got to go up into the air and then come back down. The balloons were still teathered. We got there a little too late though. We were in line waiting for a ride and the wind picked up and the balloons had to be taken down. But the kids and dh got to help take downt he balloon. Still Sapphire was crying int he car she was so dissappointed. Maybe next year. I take it though that they don't do that every year. They just did this year because the wind was too strong for them to take off.

Christmas Valley, Oregon - Camping

For Journey's birthday/ Memorial weekend we went camping in Christmas Valley, Oregon. Unlike what most people imagine when they think about Oregon it is not lush, green with lots of trees. There are few trees, mostly juniper, and those there are are short and rather stunted. The majority of plant life is sage brush. It's high desert. It gets really hot during the day and then very cold at night. Well generally in the summer months, but we happened to visit on an off weekend and we got rain and hail.
The kids had a blast. There were a lot of family and friends there. I think that the adults had more fun than the kids did, staying up until all hours drinking way too much. There were many hangovers the next day. The asprin bottle was passed around. I had a couple mixed drinks but I'm nursing still so I don't drink much. It was fun but I think that next year we'll go some place a little more quiet. The teenagers were really loud until all hours of the morning.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

High Desert Museum

While my mom was down we went to visit the High Desert Museum. It was really cool. There are several indoor and outdoor exhibits. There is so much stuff that it'll take more than one day to cover it all. I am thinking of getting a membership since we will be here all summer. The kids favorite exhibit was the river otter. You could see it above water and then below around the side of the tank. It came right up to the window.

There was a birds of prey exhibit.

I was probably 3 feet from a turkey vulture. Then they brought out a merlin, a small falcon, and a snowy owl. They were right there, you could practicaly touch them. It was really fascinating. Of course the kids got tired of it long before the adults did

There was an old saw mill and cabin that you could walk through. An interactive kids site that they could put on costumes and play with puppets. There were fish tanks with salmon and trout in them, (that was Journey's favorite). There was a rattlesnake, a couple scorpians and some lizards. The kids were more interested in the animals than any historical information. But they had a really interesting Native American exhibit. The lights were dimmed low and they had music and background noise playing. Several different teepees were inside and out.

Happy 1st Birthday Journey

It's gone by way too fast but here it is. You are one year old already. You are walking, climbing and pestering your siblings. You're shy and sweet. You are scared of dogs but love cats. You are a dipper, love ketchup, mayo and ranch dressing. You are willing to try anything at least twice. You want to do anything that big brother or big sister are doing and don't let your limitations frustrate you. You are amazing and astounding. I cherish everyday that I get to spend with you. I love you little dude.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Poor things

Well the baby fish did not make it. I think they got eaten by the frog. Poor momma. So we went out an got a couple more fish because the kids were so dissapointed. I am glad that we don't have any other pets. They keep asking for a kitten or a puppy but it's just too much work and not really fair to the animals to be living in such a small space.

I'm thinking about starting up a home business. Making dress up clothes. I don't know how it would work. I already have a lot on my plate and finding time to sew would be hard. But Randy supports me. Said that if it gets up and running he'll learn to sew and help me. That'll be interesting. I think he's excited for any chance to get out of his job and is willing to let me try just about anything I want. I think that it could be fun and rewarding but I don't know anything about running a business. Jeez I can't even balance my checkbook. How am I supposed to keep track of the finances? I'll make up a few things and see if they sell on E-bay. If so I guess I'll read up on small business and interenet business. There is a lot of literature out there nowadays. Okay enough babbling.

Friday, May 19, 2006


Well I killed our old fish and after a proper period of mourning we recently aquired some new ones. Well we bought four guppies yesterday and this morning were suprised to find 10 fish in our tank. Yes one of my fish is a momma. Must have been pregnant when I got her. Not sure how that happened because they kept male and females in different tanks. The kids are very happy and excited. The babies are about the size of a grain of rice. Very tiny, silvery-grey things. They flit about very fast and excited. The fish and the children.

Speaking of flitting. Journey has started walking. He's getting quiet good at it. Letting go and walking a few feet now before he plops onto his butt. He has yeat to fall face first. Smart boy, learned to fall first. He is also practicing standing and bending over and picking things up. He is so proud of himself when he does this. It's so cute the huge grin on his face and the squeeling noises. Now I'm sad because he's growing up too fast.

where we are now

Central Oregon.
Hot, high desert. Although I've been surprised at how much rain we've been getting. For the last few days there have been thunderstorms every evening. Morning is hot and sunny. I've gotten burnt alread. Curse my fair skin. They kids however are all tanning like the the bunch of injuns that they are. I'm sure that is politically incorrect. Should I have said Native Americans? Don't really care. Journey seems to be the only one who has inherited my fair skin, he also has red hair. Where did that come from?

Our park is surrounded by pine trees. We have had a little furry, fluffy tailed visitor a couple evenings. Very cute but not friendly. Turn your head towards it and it bolts. There are lots of birds. I bought a book with North American wildlife for the kids to try and identify some animals, bugs and plants. So far we havn't seen anything really exciting other than the bunny.

We went to see the largest pine tree in Oregon. Not really that tall, i think that the top fell off at some point. But the circumfranse was enormous. It's estimated to be over 500 years old. That's really old here in logging teritorry. I left my camera at my mom's so I will post pictures later.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Cottage Grove, Oregon

We were staying in the Cottage Grove area for two weeks. I love it down there. I think I love it mostly because that's where my husband and I grew up. Our families still live there. My husband's family has been there so long that they have a road named after them. It was wonderful visiting with our families. I had a daquari party with my mom and sister. Went shopping for books with my sister in law. We went to the park and ate ice cream. Just hung out together. I am one of those lucky people who happened to have married into a family that I love just as much as my own. They are wonderful supportive people.

We stayed in the Village Green Park the first week because it was close to in laws. But it was right next to Walmart and there were some weirdos camping out in the parking lot there so we moved. But it would be nice if you were staying in the hotel. It used to be a luxery resort and has the most amazing gardens. It got neglected for several years but there are new owners that are reviving it.

We moved next to Pass Creek Park, in Curtain, Or. It is a County park that is just lvoely. It has all the rv hookups, showers and laundry facilities. There is a arge pond with geese, ducks and about a dozen goslings. There are also two friendly newtria. Which for those of you who haven't seen them are like a cross between a beaver and a rat. Imagine a beaver with a rat tail. So ugly they are almost cute. They come up to the shore and beg like the ducks and geese. There were play structures and picnic tables. We really enjoyed it there. Next on to Central Oregon, Bend area. Will update later.

Monday, April 24, 2006


We came down here for what was supposed to be a week right before Easter. We'll be here the rest of the week and probably next week too. Sapphire got sick, then Journey, now he has an ear infection. We are staying at a lovely park that has a big pond with geese and goselings. They are so cute, all lined up following behind their mommy. It has a swingset and a big slide. It does not however have wifi so I won't be on much. After we get settled in the next job I'll be able to post more.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

My husband works too hard

My husband works too hard. He is getting a lot better. I keep trying to tell him to delegate. He's in a position where he can tell other people what to do and relax a little but he works harder than most of the guys on his crew. He pays for it too. He may be young but his body doesn't think it is. He has had two GI bleeds. He's under thirty. When your doctor says it's just a freak of nature thing it can't be good. He's hurt his back several times, luckily nothing too serious, pulled muscles and like. It's only a matter of time though.

I really feel like he got the bum deal in our marriage. When we first got together we had plans. I was in high school sort of. I was in the teen parent program which is a self paced program so that you can graduate early if you work at it. I graduated a year early, with a 4.0 my senior year too. I got better grades after I had a baby. Then I went to college. I took night, weekend, and telecourse classes to get my associates degree. Well the plan was to have a baby, take a year off, then go to the university and finish my degree. Once I got a good job that paid at least as much as his did I would work and he would stay home.

Things didn't go as planned. I went to the university for a semester. Did a very small internship. Realized that I hated what I was majoring in. So I went back to the community college and tried to get into the nursing program. It's so competitive and I had so many credits of unrelated classes that weren't doing much for my grade point. You basically had to have work experience as a CNA, and a 4.0 to get into the program. So that was out of the question now. We talked about moving so that I could enter into a different program. But then life got in the way, another baby, and now traveling. So things didn't work out as planned.

I feel at times that he resents me crapping out on my end of the deal. I had a chance to go to school and I blew it to have more kids. I could still finish my degree and get a job but I love being a stay at home mom. I would have to put my kids into daycare to finish school and then the first year or two that I started a new job. I don't want that. I wish that there was something that I could do at home and make enough money at that my dh didn't have to work at his crappy job.

I'm such a dork

I get a little thrill when I get to the end of the post and do the spell check and nothing is misspelled. I am such a dork.

I haven't been writing much lately. I've started a few things but I'm always distracted. It's something that I miss. Writing here isn't the same. It's my creative outlet, stress relief, and my passion. I feel like I'm missing a part of me when I haven't written anything in awhile. It's so much a part of who I am that I am lost without it.

My booby baby

He's so funny. It cracks me up how excited he gets sometimes. Do bottle fed babies get that way? We lay down together at night and he starts giggling. After he latches on and gets a few nibbles he looks up and smiles around my boob. It's the cutest thing ever. Nothing brings a smile to my face faster. With milk dribbling down his chin, trying smile around his dinner. It's a lot cuter than when Kenzie chews with his mouth open.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The smallest thing may make a difference

A week or two ago I went to a thrift store that supports the local animal shelter. They had some cats on display and the kids were petting them. There was another woman there petting them also. We struck up a conversation about past pets since neither of us have any right now. She is also living in a trailer and traveling with her husband but she doesn't have any children. She had MS and doesn't feel like she could handle children as her health isn't good. We talked for awhile and she eventually asked if I knew where the animal shelter was. It happens to be right next to our rv park and I gave her some general directions.

I took the kids to the shelter today to pet the cats and such. She was there. It's funny because although I remember the conversation well I didn't really think anything of it. I talk to people at stores or the park all the time. Well it really made a difference to her. She'd been feeling so isolated up here. Right after she left the store she went to the shelter and volunteered. She's been volunteering there since then and loves it. It's funny that something so simple as a 10 minute conversation and giving someone directions could make a difference. It really warms my heart.

We are going back to the shelter tomorrow to visit. I'd like to start up at least a penpal relationship since we are supposed to be leaving Thursday.


I feel like going back to bed. It's going to be one of those days I'm sure. I have lots of things that I need to do but I don't feel like getting off my butt. I'm still wearing my pj's. In fact so are all of the kids. yeah that was a fragment. So I hope that I didn't drag everyone down with the sheer boredom of this post.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

My Treasure Map

Beyond Expectations!

A collage view of my treasure maps. I used several pieces of paper to signify different areas of my life. Beyond Expectations is a big theme that runs through a lot of it. I know that growing up I always felt that lived up to peoples expectations and they weren't very high. So one of my goals, hopes, desires for this next year is to live beyond expectations, mine, my family's and just what everyone else thinks of me. It's nice to be a little suprising.

This is my dream house. Sorry it's a little fuzzy, I don't have a scanner. It's hard to take a picture of a picture. Not the best drawing but it's a visualization of what I would love to have.

A little poem about what I want from my writing

The words come is spurts,
every now and then
like rain drops
growing on my page
flowers of knowledge
touching your heart
with beauty and grace.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Kid Pics

I took the kids out on a little drive to take some spring pics before sil came to visit.

The Marcus Whitman. A very snazzy expensive hotel, very visable and recognizable once you enter town. Fluffy clouds and blue sky out the car window.Cherry trees along second st. Some farm land in the area, large farming community here.

Finally some decent weather

All week it has been raining. They've gotten almost their whole monthly average rainfall here already and it's not a week into the month. It was nice today though. A little overcast but warm. I took the kids for a walk. We were taking a dirt path that runs behind the park to the golf course. The park is right up against the course, just a small burm in between them. Anyways we were walking along, picking up rocks and suddenly I hear this screeching. It wasn't my kids. It was a bird, on the ground, on her nest. Not even in the grass or anything, just in the dirt. Not a very smart bird, although I didn't see her until she started squawking at me. The kids thought that was really neat. Especially Sapphire, she wants to be an animal control officer when she grows up. Watches animal cops on Animal planet all the time. She's so sensitive, she was crying because of some things on the show the other day.

Then there is animal killer. Not on purpose, don't get all pissed off. You see the only pets we had are some goldfish, about 8 of them in a 20 gallon tank. It's a pain to drain when we move but the kids like it. So I put a bottle of infants advil on the tank and it tipped over. Well the lid must not of been on all the way because our fish started slowly dying off. At first it was just the little ones and I thought that Dorthy, our big one, was getting hungry. But then the rest started floating and we discovered the bottle. It had probably been a week. We took the remain three fish out and put them in clean bowl of water but to no avail. I drugged out fish to death. Bad pet owner. And they let me have kids....

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

New tricks

Journey is learning to stand on his own. He pulls himself up to something and then lets go and just stands there for as long as he feels brave enough. It's exciting and sad at the same time. He's my last baby and he's growing up too fast. He also got a new tooth on the top and is constantly grinding his teeth together. I'm hoping once the novelty of that wears off he'll stop.

I learned a new trick too.

I also converted to cloth diapers. Still using regular at night but just until I find a good night diaper. It's going pretty well. I am constantly doing laundry anyways, what's another load? I am such a flower child, I think I was born in the wrong era.

Whitman Mission

My sil came to visit for a couple days. I think we wore her out. We went to the park, swimming in her hotel pool, a few wineries and the Whitman Mission

Very sad story but the history of the place was beautiful. We all had lots of fun and combined a history lesson for Sapphire.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

For Jen

Just to let you know that I am partway through the next chapter, will have it up by Friday.

May be MIA

My sil is coming to visit us. She's bringing her 12 yr. son with her. We'll be going to some local spots. I don't really know where. When we first came up here we went to the Fort Walla Walla museum but it's closed right now. So, the park, some wineries. Heck if I know, not too good at entertaining. On other notes. Wifi here is on the fritz again. Drives me insane.

Spring is here. I'm gong to take the kids out with cameras and we are going to capture some spring pictures. I LOVE Spring!

Journey has been doing this little purring noise. He sounds like a boat motor when he really gets going. It cracks me up. Also "mamamama" all the time, seems like especially whenever I am in front of the sink. I think it's his love of water. He's fascinated with the vacuum. Today I had the hose attachment out and was cleaning the cushions of the dinette. I set the hose down for a second to move the cushion. He crawls over and sucks his cheek up. He was more fascinated than scared. I was laughing hysterically, after I removed it of course. Don't worry, no vacuum hickeys for him.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Household chores

I really hate to clean. I think it was all that time I spent as a housekeeper at a hotel. Some of the things that I found...we wont' go into that. No really that's just a convenient excuse I have always been a bad housekeeper. Even as a child I surrounded myself with chaos. I think it's just my personality. I don't like things tidy. Not to say that I am a slob. My carpets are vacuumed, my dishes washed and clothes laundered and folded. I just tend to leave books and papers scattered wherever I am at the moment. I always seem to be in the middle of some project that never seems to get finished. I just procrastinate, they do get finished, eventually.

I married a man who enjoys tidiness and order. I know that I drive him insane. He loves me anyway. How tidy are you? Are you one of those clean, everything has it's place kind of people, or a closet pack rat?

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Treasure map

I don't do a new years resolution but this appeals to me. Something about putting your wishes and hopes out there....So I'm going to do it and I invite you too also. I'll post a picture when I'm done. Not much time now. The kids and I are going to make a project out of it. So if you plan on doing it or you do it let me know. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Treasure Mapping!

Stolen from

Treasure Mapping begins...March 29. 5:15am EST. (4:15am CST) (3:15 MST) (2:15AM PST).

For those who don't know... the treasure map is when you take a bunch of pictures, drawing, photos, colors.. and make a collage on a poster board OF ALL the things you want in your life for the next year.

Astrologically it lines up with the Aries New Moon (Not the first day of spring by the way...). You have about 4 days to make the map. DON'T START IT BEFORE!!! It is made after the new aries moon begins. Which by the way, this year is so early in the morning.

this is a period where you allow yourself to dream, dream big, allow your self to want things.. write them down, put up a poem, put up a photo, put up that which sets up your ideal experiences for this new year.

Frequently asked Qs and As.



A treasure map is a collage made of photos, magazines pictures, words, pieces of things that make sense to you...whatever you want and you put them on a foam core board or just cardboard or just something strong that can handle the put them all together so you can look at will be a MAP of what you want for the coming year.

what do you mean, "what do I want for the coming year?"Exactly what it says. Do you want a new house, a new living room, better health, stronger marriage, reconnect with people, a bigger family, a bigger community? do you want to write your book? do you want a new car? what is it you want?
Do you even know what you want? If you are like many of us, you are so busy running around, taking care of everyone else that you might not have a fig of an idea what you want for your new year...that is the beauty of this must sit down and figure it out...give yourself this time to do it. Be just that selfish..and dare to dream.

Why do we do it in the spring and not January?Treasure Maps are made during the Aries new moon. Aries new moon change from year to year and this year, it will take place on March 29 at 5:15am.
They are made on Aries new moon, because that is the first sign of the zodiac. Aries is when you plant your seeds. It is the real beginning of the new year. It should not be confused with the first day of spring which is usually on March 19 or March 20. New moon means the sun and moon are in the same degree. For those who don't know much about astrology (which is totally okay) Aries is the sign of SIGHT. So, that's why it is so important to have pictures of what you want. YOu need to visualize it. Or if you don't do photos/pictures.. put up words. It is just important for you to SEE THEM.

So, I'm going to be busy on March 29th..can I start it before the 29th?NO.

Do I have to buy a bunch of magazines, I'm broke, can I just borrow some old ones from friendsPersonally, when I started my treasure maps I always did them with fresh new magazines. And in the old days, (not married, no children) I spent a lot of dough on them..only because I wanted lots of choices. But with time, I ended up only getting a few magazines. I never borrowed other magazines from friends..but I know that there were people here who did it in the previous years and I think they were happy with their results. So, it really is your call.

What if I don't want magazine photos, can I just use my own pictures.. like my husband, my baby etc?
Sure. I usually colored xerox them so that I would not wreck my originals.

you can also paint what you want. it really is your call.

Is there any pattern i have to use when i put the photos or the words on my you can do it anyway you want.
I will say that in previous years I used to use the feng shui baguas for my pattern. basically I would break up the board into 9 areas.


7-self knowledge (and travel)
9-helpful people and angels.

If you use the feng shui baguas, you will naturally cover all most all areas of your you can see it is all represented there.

How much time do I have to build my map?edited:
You have until Saturday April 1 1:23pm EST (by the way day light savings time takes effect the next day). YOu can certainly take more time if you need it but really you should try to have it done by Saturday the 1st at 1:23pm.

do I have to do it alone or can I do it with friends?
You can do it either way. I used to build them with my 2 other friends. We are like sisters and it felt so right to do it with them. We started them together. I know that there are several MDCers who have little parties where they invite those close to them over. I will say this, it is a lot of fun to do them with others..we would all pass around the magazines.. "Hey, I found a great BMW.. does anyone want a new BMW?" Or it would be, "I have got to lose 10 pounds, any ideas what I should put on my map?" and low and behold someone will come up with a good suggestion.

Do i have to finish it all at one sitting?no. Often I used to cut my stuff out with my friends. maybe glue a little thing here or there and then take it home and finish it there over the course of a day or two.

Can my kids do it with me?yes! it is great for them to focus and think about what they want. They also might give you their thoughts about what they think you should have in your life. Helps them to think beyond them, right?

Does it work?
Yep. On my first map, I put a photo of a guy on a boat from like a Ralph Loren ad or something like that. Two months later I met my husband. He sails and comes from a long line of yacht clubbers.
It was so odd for me to put that photo up on my map, but there was just something about the feel and look to the guy on the boat that I just liked.

And there you go....we met..dated, a new map (the following year) had a ring on it... and I think you can do the math..... we've been together 10 years.

okay. I don't want to sound like a spoil sport but I"m just not interested in building a collage, can I do something else?

well, the truth is I now don't actually build maps any more. What I now do is take a nice piece of orange paper and write down my wishes during treasure map time. My wishes are almost like prayers and they are much more broad in my desires. But I will say this, I felt like I needed to switch to 'less is more' after several, several years of mapping. So, I had a lot under my belt. I would encourage new comers to make the actual maps. but if you really don't feel the call. then just write your desires down. I like orange paper. So, vibrant. So aries.

More rejection

Aww well. I kind of thought that I would be more bothered by it. Right now though it means so little with everything else that is going on. House full of sickos over here. Journey had his first ear infection. It's really the first time that he's been sick since he was born. Ya! for breastfeeding. Then Kenzie got an ear infection, poor thing. They are both feeling better now. Dh has the cold that caused the kids ear infections now. My poor, pitiful husband. He gets sick at the drop of the hat, impaired immune system, no spleen. On other notes sorry Jen. I just haven't had much time to edit. I was hoping since the kids are better than dh would watch them but now he's sick. Don't worry I'll get it soon. I can't leave you hanging as to the sex of the babies now can I.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Spring has sprung

I love spring and fall. Well the beginning of spring and end of fall when I'm not dying with my allergies. Cherry trees are blossoming, daffodils are blooming and love is in the air. Makes me want to go shopping. I cleaned out a bunch of the kids toys and clothes. I guess it's really a time for renewal. All the cleaning and shopping is just a sign of it. So here's to a fresher me; one who laughs more, takes risks, and stops to smell the flowers.

Monday, March 20, 2006

My work

So I had a poem published in an ezine. Thought that I'd share for those of you that aren't privledged enough to have read it already. Ha.

Now I just need to figure out how to put links into here properly. Any help?

Strange dreams

So since they had me open while Journey was being born I had them tie my tubes. So three kids is it for me. But now I keep having dreams that I am pregnant. I keep seeing myself giving birth (naturally!) to this beautiful little girl. Both of which are so far beyond the realm of possibility that I can say that it's impossible.

Let's see, I'm nursing, which in itself can act as birth control. Then there is the fact that my tubes are tied. Then the incompetent cervix, cerclage, possible bedrest, premature labor....always ending in a c-section as a result of the scar tissue from the cerclage, so I can't fully dilate. So there is no way that I can ever give birth naturally to another child at this point.

When I wake up in the morning I get this little thrill though. Because although I know that we are not in the best position to have another child that I would love to have more. So logically no more kids is a good decision, probably the best for our family and marriage. Still in the little recesses of my heart is this yearning for another little girl.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Eastern Oregon

When I was a child we used to go to eastern Oregon every year for a vacation. Camping, really roughing it, not in camp ground. Miles away from anything, you had to watch out for scorpions and rattle snakes. You know what I liked it. I used to have so much fun when I was really young but then I grew up. It wasn't the normal teenage girl things of not being able to take a shower or talk to friends. It was the fact that the boys were treated so much differently than me. They were allowed to go off on their own, had a lot more freedom. It so pissed me off. So I stopped going.

I want to bring something of the early times to my children. I want them to know nature and freedom. I want them to see the sun rise over the rocks. To be able to see for miles because there are no trees. I want them to collect wood, start a fire, have their fingers get stuck together with marshmallow. I want them to look up at the sky and see just miles of stars without the city lights blocking them. Learn that you can't catch lizards by their tails, and not to lift rocks. To feel the hot sun burning your nose and sand stuck in your sandals.

I promise that my boys will not get preferential treatment. My daughter will learn to shoot a gun, hike all the trails and belch along with the best of them. Because she is as smart and strong as any boy.

On the move

So it's looking like we will be moving again in about three weeks. What I hate is the not knowing. It looks like we might be going to Bend, Or. But then we might go to Arizona. Heck if I know.. You would think that they could be a little more organized. I am looking forward to being anywhere but here. I'm not much of a city person. I grew up on a farm. Still as far as cities go, this one sucks.

I have been to Bend a few times. It really isn't that far from where we used to live, in a real house. It's high desert, hot in the day, cold at night, sage brush, blue bellies, and horny toads.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Some good news

Not to bog down your day with bad news. (As if you cared so much) The trip wasn't a whole waste. I got several pairs of pants, and shirts to fit my svelter (real word?) figure. I lost 10 pounds of post baby weight, cutting out sugar and doing yoga and pilates. My pants had been falling down, my crack hanging out. Lovely look. So I did some bargain shopping because a major department store was going out of business. Dh got a tattoo. He got a dream catcher with a bear claw for his native american heritage. The bear claw because that is his tribe. Although traditionally dream catchers aren't part of his tribal heritage it's a lovely symbol. If he lets me I'll post a pic later.

I've been in a creative funk lately. I have plenty of ideas. It's just I don't want to do what I should be doing. I have miles of editing to do for my novel and a few more chapters to add. It's just I'm getting kind of annoyed with how crappy my writing was. I think that maybe some chop and hack action with my work my be a little cathartic so I no longer feel the need to maime that IHOP waitress.

Thieves and Liars

The world is populated with them, or is it just Springfield. I go to visit my mom, take off my wedding ring to make dinner and my sister's friend steals it. My WEDDING RING! I am mad and sick and just exhausted from the effort of not beating the crap out of this girl. Although she's probably a good 70 pounds heavier and 4 inches taller than me. I just want to kick her butt!! I am normally such a pacifist. But how can you steal someone's wedding ring. It's so personal and meaningful. It's not like earrings or a bracelet if you suddenly have a yearning to steal jewelry.

My grandma always told me that pretty is as pretty does. Well it wouldn't surprise me if that was true in her case. She is just about the ugliest girl I have ever seen. She's supposedly my age but looks about 10 years older. And for someone in their early twenties she sure does have a lot of facial hair. A couple of extra chins and a really bad dye job just complete the white trash picture. I suppose that someone with her looks must feel that they have to lie and steal to make up for it. Would have been so much better to develop a sense of humor but then not everyone can be as witty as I...(not conceited at all).

Sunday, February 26, 2006


I am now officially a writer. I got my first rejection letter, er, email in my case. I'm so relieved to have the waiting over for one of my submissions at least that I really am not that bothered by it. I wish that they would say why, you know a little more feedback, so that I could improve my writing. But just the simple, sorry we cannot use your work at this time but please submit more work later...bla, bla, bla. You win some you lose some. I really haven't had much time to work on my writing lately. What I do have to do is kind of disheartening. I have so much editing to do from my nano novel that I think that it would be easier to trash it and start over. I really love my character and there are some touching, funny, and moving scenes already. Right now it's just putting it into a logical order and filling in the missing spots. Well all play and no work doesn't get me published so it's back to the old grindstone.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Why I love being a mother

Sometimes they fight like cats and dogs and other times... times like this are why I love being a mother.

Can't think of a self explanatory title

Okay it's the middle of the night and it's not the baby keeping me up. I wish it were because then I know that I'd eventually get back to sleep. Do you think that you ever outgrow what happened in your childhood? Not that mine was all that bad, just your normal family drama now a days pretty much. Still some things just stick. I find myself saying and doing things that my mom did that I hated. I still hate them. After I do it, I really don't know why in the world I did. It's like she possessed me but she's not dead.

I don't want to be a parent like my mother. She didn't do so bad a job. I just don't remember her being there much. I just think that I can do a much better job. Yet I find myself repeating her mistakes. I have to say that I turned out pretty good now. But I had my daughter at 16, I ran away from home at 13. My sister had a baby at 17. I really don't want that for my daughter. I want so much more for her. All I can think of is where did my mom screw up so royally and how can I not?

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Where we are now

Walla Walla, Washington

It was really nice when we first moved here because the weather was great. We would go to the park and drive around checking out all the natural scenery. The town is right next to the Blue mountains. The area is mostly farms. At the end of summer the fields were covered with a golden stubble that glowed under the afternoon sun.

Now it is very cold and things are grey and bleak. The biggest attraction to the area is the wineries. There are like 60 wineries in the area. I am not exaggerating. It's a huge wine area. Now I am a nursing mother. What the heck am I going to do with that?

Walla Walla is a college town. I grew up kind of in a college town so I would expect certain things. Such as used book stores, small venues for music, dance, theatre, coffee shops and hopping bars. I haven't seen a single used book store. Now if anyone else who lives here knows where one is I would love to be proven wrong. I think they have a community theatre but I would be more interested in the music.

The town doesn't seem very family friendly. Where are the baby stores, toy stores, play gyms?

So my options are to get drunk and well get drunk....yeah wine!


Now any of those who know me might have trouble believing this but I have no friends. Well I have one very best friend but since she is several hundred miles away I don't get to see her much. We did get tattoos together last time I was visiting. Sounds like a good bonding experience.

That was one thing that I didn't plan on when we decided to travel, the isolation and loneliness. Before while I didn't have a lot of friends I would still socialize. Mostly through the kids. I'd go to other kids parties and socialize with the mothers and at school functions. So I wasn't completely isolated. But now I'm homeschooling and I don't have that. I miss people. So now I'm thinking about taking a class or some such to meet people. Like I was dating or something. But then is it okay to make friends if you are just going to leave again in a couple months. I guess I'm one of those bff kind of people. I like to form lasting relationships not the kind that are dependent on any one situation.

I don't see much point in doing anything now anyways, we are supposed to be done here within the month. Maybe next stop I'll do something. I'm sure that the kids need to socialize as much as I do.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Our first stop

When we first up and moved it was to the Puget Sound area of Washington. Specifically Poulsbo, Washington. It's an adorable little town. The old town section is very like an old Scandanavian town. There are little cafes, and patisseries, little bookshops and art galleries. It was right on the water. We played at the park, visited the Farmer's market, and bought too sugary cookies. While we lived of Poulsbo we spent most of our time visiting many of the other areas.

We went shopping in Silverdale, at the mall or course. There is a huge playground at the fairgrounds shaped like an fort. The kids spent hours playing there.There was always lots of other kids to play with and the days were sunny and warm.

We went to Bainbridge Island several times to play on the beach. The kids would build sand castles and collect sea shells. Journey spent most of the time napping in the shade.

Where we started

We used to live, when we actually had a house, along the Mckenzie River. Lush verdant forests surround a quick, rushing river. The river attracts fishermen and those in for the thrill of white water rafting. Although I have to admit that I haven't done either. Well not on that river at least. Every year in the summer the fish hatchery has a free fishing day where they let children fish out of the ponds. I've taken Sapphire and Kenzie a couple times. It's always fun with a guarenteed catch. The area is a temperate rainforest, it's very wet and loaded with evergreen trees. Every summer we would spend swimming at the river or hiking at one of the many trails. At night we would be seranaded to sleep by a chorus of treefrogs. I miss living there. The house however leaked like a seive, we had scorpians and mice, our main source of heat was a woodstove. So I don't miss the house. I just miss the area. Well it's a great place to go for vacation.

Friday, February 17, 2006

The Colombia river

We traveled east along the Colombia River. It was lovely, forests of poplar trees, eerie in thier symmetry. Multnomah Falls is the second highest year round waterfall in the US. I wish that I had time to stop. Then there is the Bonneville Dam. It's a hydroelectric dam that provides a lot of the electricity for the northwest. It's a huge eyesore that I cannot stand. I wrote a poem about it...

Once mighty river
waters ran wild
rippling with rainbow scales
awesome power
relied a nation.

Reduced to a soft gloss
smooth as satin
with nary a ripple
to lead you onward.

Ladder upon ladder
locke upon locke
barged an upward battle
since when do fish swim in tankers?

A wall of concrete
built upon souls
given unwillingly
for hydroelectricity.

Would Merryweather
recognize this place?

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Working on my Writing

I don't usually make New Year's resolutions but this year I did. It's to try and get published. So far I have been doing a lot of writing but little, as in none, submitting. There is this little fear inside of me keeping me back. If I don't actually try then I cannot fail. You know? So today I am going to submit two of my favorite stories. Wish me luck. I will report back the news either good or bad when I get it.

Suck a Lemon

I think that my son's tastebuds are a little out of whack.

Happy Valentine's day

My mommy loves me. Well and my kids too. She sent us this ginormous box of chocolate. It's got chocolate covered oreos, chocolate covered milanos, chocolate covered fortune I need to go on. I bet your mouth is watering already. Even the box is made out of chocolate. And I was doing so well losing the last few pounds of baby weight. She just didn't want me to be skinnier than her. Right now we wear the same size. I would think that she wouldn't want me to be her size. I am very good at borrowing clothes and either forgetting to give them back or losing them. I had several single shoes of hers. I got rid of them all when we moved but I didn't find the other half when we moved. The scorpions must have been eating them...Ech! We had scorpions at our last house, in the wood pile, under the porch. I really hate scorpions. We lived in the temperate rainforest of the Pacific Northwest, not the high desert. I am so glad to leave those behind but I sure do miss the room, we are rather cramped.

Friday, February 03, 2006

On being a mom

Of course I love being a mother, but there are times that I could gladly wring my childrens necks. Most esspecially my three year old, he tries his hardest to drive me insane. What bothers me the most is keeping him safe. How do you do that with someone who has no concept of fear? He will continue to do something dangerous even though he got hurt doing it the first time. Kenz is constantly covered in bruises and scabs because he's jumping off the furniture or running into the door. He just doesn't slow down. It wears me out.

Journey is a good baby, nurses well, sleeps well, eats anything you put in front of him. I am lucky in that department. Now if I could just get him to stop sticking everything in his mouth.

Homeschooling is going okay. Sas is not the best student. She is so smart and I thought that her natural curiosity would be more of a drive. She'd be happy just drawing all the time. Math is her hardest subject, we are constantly fighting to get a single page done.

Oh the joys of motherhood.

Monday, January 30, 2006

New Trick

Journey is learning to pull himself up on the furniture. He's actually getting quite adept. He can crawl right up to the couch or my leg and pull himself up. When he tries to climb up my leg I have to hold on to my pants. A couple times now he has succeeded in pulling my pants down instead of standing up. Now that he has that down he wants to be able to stand up without furniture. He will get on all fours in the living room floor and then straighten his legs so that his butt is sticking straight up in the air. Then he'll shake it around a bit as he tries to push up with his hands. He ends up getting so frustrated that he can't stand up that he complains. It's so funny I imagine that if he could actually speak he'd be cursing.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Along the Colombia Gorge

Traveling along the Colombia river, I let the kids take pictures out of the backseat.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Lovely Park

There is a just lovely park here that we love to explore. There is a fountain, playground and an atrium. I think that I am a little more interested in the birds than the kids are. It's been too wet and cold to visit it lately. Wish I could go back to just arrived here weather.

A new start

Almost a year ago my husband and I made the decision to sell our house. Considering it was rather small and I was expecting our third child it doesn't seem like such an unrational step. Well we didn't sell it to buy a bigger house, we sold it to hit the road. After a couple years of seeing my husband only weekends and vacations I was sick of it. So we decided to sell our house, put our belongings in storage and buy a travel trailer. So shortly after our newest addition, Journey, was born we hit the road. We've been doing this since September, it's not too bad. Although I have to say if anything was going to cause a divorce it would these tight quarters. Three kids, one learning to crawl, in ooh maybe 400 sq feet of living space, makes for one "close" knit family.