Tuesday, March 28, 2006

For Jen

Just to let you know that I am partway through the next chapter, will have it up by Friday.

May be MIA

My sil is coming to visit us. She's bringing her 12 yr. son with her. We'll be going to some local spots. I don't really know where. When we first came up here we went to the Fort Walla Walla museum but it's closed right now. So, the park, some wineries. Heck if I know, not too good at entertaining. On other notes. Wifi here is on the fritz again. Drives me insane.

Spring is here. I'm gong to take the kids out with cameras and we are going to capture some spring pictures. I LOVE Spring!

Journey has been doing this little purring noise. He sounds like a boat motor when he really gets going. It cracks me up. Also "mamamama" all the time, seems like especially whenever I am in front of the sink. I think it's his love of water. He's fascinated with the vacuum. Today I had the hose attachment out and was cleaning the cushions of the dinette. I set the hose down for a second to move the cushion. He crawls over and sucks his cheek up. He was more fascinated than scared. I was laughing hysterically, after I removed it of course. Don't worry, no vacuum hickeys for him.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Household chores

I really hate to clean. I think it was all that time I spent as a housekeeper at a hotel. Some of the things that I found...we wont' go into that. No really that's just a convenient excuse I have always been a bad housekeeper. Even as a child I surrounded myself with chaos. I think it's just my personality. I don't like things tidy. Not to say that I am a slob. My carpets are vacuumed, my dishes washed and clothes laundered and folded. I just tend to leave books and papers scattered wherever I am at the moment. I always seem to be in the middle of some project that never seems to get finished. I just procrastinate, they do get finished, eventually.

I married a man who enjoys tidiness and order. I know that I drive him insane. He loves me anyway. How tidy are you? Are you one of those clean, everything has it's place kind of people, or a closet pack rat?

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Treasure map

I don't do a new years resolution but this appeals to me. Something about putting your wishes and hopes out there....So I'm going to do it and I invite you too also. I'll post a picture when I'm done. Not much time now. The kids and I are going to make a project out of it. So if you plan on doing it or you do it let me know. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Treasure Mapping!

Stolen from http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=423112

Treasure Mapping begins...March 29. 5:15am EST. (4:15am CST) (3:15 MST) (2:15AM PST).

For those who don't know... the treasure map is when you take a bunch of pictures, drawing, photos, colors.. and make a collage on a poster board OF ALL the things you want in your life for the next year.

Astrologically it lines up with the Aries New Moon (Not the first day of spring by the way...). You have about 4 days to make the map. DON'T START IT BEFORE!!! It is made after the new aries moon begins. Which by the way, this year is so early in the morning.

this is a period where you allow yourself to dream, dream big, allow your self to want things.. write them down, put up a poem, put up a photo, put up that which sets up your ideal experiences for this new year.

Frequently asked Qs and As.



A treasure map is a collage made of photos, magazines pictures, words, pieces of things that make sense to you...whatever you want and you put them on a foam core board or just cardboard or just something strong that can handle the collage...you put them all together so you can look at it...it will be a MAP of what you want for the coming year.

what do you mean, "what do I want for the coming year?"Exactly what it says. Do you want a new house, a new living room, better health, stronger marriage, reconnect with people, a bigger family, a bigger community? do you want to write your book? do you want a new car? what is it you want?
Do you even know what you want? If you are like many of us, you are so busy running around, taking care of everyone else that you might not have a fig of an idea what you want for your new year...that is the beauty of this process...you must sit down and figure it out...give yourself this time to do it. Be just that selfish..and dare to dream.

Why do we do it in the spring and not January?Treasure Maps are made during the Aries new moon. Aries new moon change from year to year and this year, it will take place on March 29 at 5:15am.
They are made on Aries new moon, because that is the first sign of the zodiac. Aries is when you plant your seeds. It is the real beginning of the new year. It should not be confused with the first day of spring which is usually on March 19 or March 20. New moon means the sun and moon are in the same degree. For those who don't know much about astrology (which is totally okay) Aries is the sign of SIGHT. So, that's why it is so important to have pictures of what you want. YOu need to visualize it. Or if you don't do photos/pictures.. put up words. It is just important for you to SEE THEM.

So, I'm going to be busy on March 29th..can I start it before the 29th?NO.

Do I have to buy a bunch of magazines, I'm broke, can I just borrow some old ones from friendsPersonally, when I started my treasure maps I always did them with fresh new magazines. And in the old days, (not married, no children) I spent a lot of dough on them..only because I wanted lots of choices. But with time, I ended up only getting a few magazines. I never borrowed other magazines from friends..but I know that there were people here who did it in the previous years and I think they were happy with their results. So, it really is your call.

What if I don't want magazine photos, can I just use my own pictures.. like my husband, my baby etc?
Sure. I usually colored xerox them so that I would not wreck my originals.

you can also paint what you want. it really is your call.

Is there any pattern i have to use when i put the photos or the words on my board.no you can do it anyway you want.
I will say that in previous years I used to use the feng shui baguas for my pattern. basically I would break up the board into 9 areas.


7-self knowledge (and travel)
9-helpful people and angels.

If you use the feng shui baguas, you will naturally cover all most all areas of your life..as you can see it is all represented there.

How much time do I have to build my map?edited:
You have until Saturday April 1 1:23pm EST (by the way day light savings time takes effect the next day). YOu can certainly take more time if you need it but really you should try to have it done by Saturday the 1st at 1:23pm.

do I have to do it alone or can I do it with friends?
You can do it either way. I used to build them with my 2 other friends. We are like sisters and it felt so right to do it with them. We started them together. I know that there are several MDCers who have little parties where they invite those close to them over. I will say this, it is a lot of fun to do them with others..we would all pass around the magazines.. "Hey, I found a great BMW.. does anyone want a new BMW?" Or it would be, "I have got to lose 10 pounds, any ideas what I should put on my map?" and low and behold someone will come up with a good suggestion.

Do i have to finish it all at one sitting?no. Often I used to cut my stuff out with my friends. maybe glue a little thing here or there and then take it home and finish it there over the course of a day or two.

Can my kids do it with me?yes! it is great for them to focus and think about what they want. They also might give you their thoughts about what they think you should have in your life. Helps them to think beyond them, right?

Does it work?
Yep. On my first map, I put a photo of a guy on a boat from like a Ralph Loren ad or something like that. Two months later I met my husband. He sails and comes from a long line of yacht clubbers.
It was so odd for me to put that photo up on my map, but there was just something about the feel and look to the guy on the boat that I just liked.

And there you go....we met..dated, a new map (the following year) had a ring on it... and I think you can do the math..... we've been together 10 years.

okay. I don't want to sound like a spoil sport but I"m just not interested in building a collage, can I do something else?

well, the truth is I now don't actually build maps any more. What I now do is take a nice piece of orange paper and write down my wishes during treasure map time. My wishes are almost like prayers and they are much more broad in my desires. But I will say this, I felt like I needed to switch to 'less is more' after several, several years of mapping. So, I had a lot under my belt. I would encourage new comers to make the actual maps. but if you really don't feel the call. then just write your desires down. I like orange paper. So, vibrant. So aries.

More rejection

Aww well. I kind of thought that I would be more bothered by it. Right now though it means so little with everything else that is going on. House full of sickos over here. Journey had his first ear infection. It's really the first time that he's been sick since he was born. Ya! for breastfeeding. Then Kenzie got an ear infection, poor thing. They are both feeling better now. Dh has the cold that caused the kids ear infections now. My poor, pitiful husband. He gets sick at the drop of the hat, impaired immune system, no spleen. On other notes sorry Jen. I just haven't had much time to edit. I was hoping since the kids are better than dh would watch them but now he's sick. Don't worry I'll get it soon. I can't leave you hanging as to the sex of the babies now can I.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Spring has sprung

I love spring and fall. Well the beginning of spring and end of fall when I'm not dying with my allergies. Cherry trees are blossoming, daffodils are blooming and love is in the air. Makes me want to go shopping. I cleaned out a bunch of the kids toys and clothes. I guess it's really a time for renewal. All the cleaning and shopping is just a sign of it. So here's to a fresher me; one who laughs more, takes risks, and stops to smell the flowers.

Monday, March 20, 2006

My work

So I had a poem published in an ezine. Thought that I'd share for those of you that aren't privledged enough to have read it already. Ha.


Now I just need to figure out how to put links into here properly. Any help?

Strange dreams

So since they had me open while Journey was being born I had them tie my tubes. So three kids is it for me. But now I keep having dreams that I am pregnant. I keep seeing myself giving birth (naturally!) to this beautiful little girl. Both of which are so far beyond the realm of possibility that I can say that it's impossible.

Let's see, I'm nursing, which in itself can act as birth control. Then there is the fact that my tubes are tied. Then the incompetent cervix, cerclage, possible bedrest, premature labor....always ending in a c-section as a result of the scar tissue from the cerclage, so I can't fully dilate. So there is no way that I can ever give birth naturally to another child at this point.

When I wake up in the morning I get this little thrill though. Because although I know that we are not in the best position to have another child that I would love to have more. So logically no more kids is a good decision, probably the best for our family and marriage. Still in the little recesses of my heart is this yearning for another little girl.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Eastern Oregon

When I was a child we used to go to eastern Oregon every year for a vacation. Camping, really roughing it, not in camp ground. Miles away from anything, you had to watch out for scorpions and rattle snakes. You know what I liked it. I used to have so much fun when I was really young but then I grew up. It wasn't the normal teenage girl things of not being able to take a shower or talk to friends. It was the fact that the boys were treated so much differently than me. They were allowed to go off on their own, had a lot more freedom. It so pissed me off. So I stopped going.

I want to bring something of the early times to my children. I want them to know nature and freedom. I want them to see the sun rise over the rocks. To be able to see for miles because there are no trees. I want them to collect wood, start a fire, have their fingers get stuck together with marshmallow. I want them to look up at the sky and see just miles of stars without the city lights blocking them. Learn that you can't catch lizards by their tails, and not to lift rocks. To feel the hot sun burning your nose and sand stuck in your sandals.

I promise that my boys will not get preferential treatment. My daughter will learn to shoot a gun, hike all the trails and belch along with the best of them. Because she is as smart and strong as any boy.

On the move

So it's looking like we will be moving again in about three weeks. What I hate is the not knowing. It looks like we might be going to Bend, Or. But then we might go to Arizona. Heck if I know.. You would think that they could be a little more organized. I am looking forward to being anywhere but here. I'm not much of a city person. I grew up on a farm. Still as far as cities go, this one sucks.

I have been to Bend a few times. It really isn't that far from where we used to live, in a real house. It's high desert, hot in the day, cold at night, sage brush, blue bellies, and horny toads.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Some good news

Not to bog down your day with bad news. (As if you cared so much) The trip wasn't a whole waste. I got several pairs of pants, and shirts to fit my svelter (real word?) figure. I lost 10 pounds of post baby weight, cutting out sugar and doing yoga and pilates. My pants had been falling down, my crack hanging out. Lovely look. So I did some bargain shopping because a major department store was going out of business. Dh got a tattoo. He got a dream catcher with a bear claw for his native american heritage. The bear claw because that is his tribe. Although traditionally dream catchers aren't part of his tribal heritage it's a lovely symbol. If he lets me I'll post a pic later.

I've been in a creative funk lately. I have plenty of ideas. It's just I don't want to do what I should be doing. I have miles of editing to do for my novel and a few more chapters to add. It's just I'm getting kind of annoyed with how crappy my writing was. I think that maybe some chop and hack action with my work my be a little cathartic so I no longer feel the need to maime that IHOP waitress.

Thieves and Liars

The world is populated with them, or is it just Springfield. I go to visit my mom, take off my wedding ring to make dinner and my sister's friend steals it. My WEDDING RING! I am mad and sick and just exhausted from the effort of not beating the crap out of this girl. Although she's probably a good 70 pounds heavier and 4 inches taller than me. I just want to kick her butt!! I am normally such a pacifist. But how can you steal someone's wedding ring. It's so personal and meaningful. It's not like earrings or a bracelet if you suddenly have a yearning to steal jewelry.

My grandma always told me that pretty is as pretty does. Well it wouldn't surprise me if that was true in her case. She is just about the ugliest girl I have ever seen. She's supposedly my age but looks about 10 years older. And for someone in their early twenties she sure does have a lot of facial hair. A couple of extra chins and a really bad dye job just complete the white trash picture. I suppose that someone with her looks must feel that they have to lie and steal to make up for it. Would have been so much better to develop a sense of humor but then not everyone can be as witty as I...(not conceited at all).