Sunday, February 26, 2006


I am now officially a writer. I got my first rejection letter, er, email in my case. I'm so relieved to have the waiting over for one of my submissions at least that I really am not that bothered by it. I wish that they would say why, you know a little more feedback, so that I could improve my writing. But just the simple, sorry we cannot use your work at this time but please submit more work later...bla, bla, bla. You win some you lose some. I really haven't had much time to work on my writing lately. What I do have to do is kind of disheartening. I have so much editing to do from my nano novel that I think that it would be easier to trash it and start over. I really love my character and there are some touching, funny, and moving scenes already. Right now it's just putting it into a logical order and filling in the missing spots. Well all play and no work doesn't get me published so it's back to the old grindstone.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Why I love being a mother

Sometimes they fight like cats and dogs and other times... times like this are why I love being a mother.

Can't think of a self explanatory title

Okay it's the middle of the night and it's not the baby keeping me up. I wish it were because then I know that I'd eventually get back to sleep. Do you think that you ever outgrow what happened in your childhood? Not that mine was all that bad, just your normal family drama now a days pretty much. Still some things just stick. I find myself saying and doing things that my mom did that I hated. I still hate them. After I do it, I really don't know why in the world I did. It's like she possessed me but she's not dead.

I don't want to be a parent like my mother. She didn't do so bad a job. I just don't remember her being there much. I just think that I can do a much better job. Yet I find myself repeating her mistakes. I have to say that I turned out pretty good now. But I had my daughter at 16, I ran away from home at 13. My sister had a baby at 17. I really don't want that for my daughter. I want so much more for her. All I can think of is where did my mom screw up so royally and how can I not?

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Where we are now

Walla Walla, Washington

It was really nice when we first moved here because the weather was great. We would go to the park and drive around checking out all the natural scenery. The town is right next to the Blue mountains. The area is mostly farms. At the end of summer the fields were covered with a golden stubble that glowed under the afternoon sun.

Now it is very cold and things are grey and bleak. The biggest attraction to the area is the wineries. There are like 60 wineries in the area. I am not exaggerating. It's a huge wine area. Now I am a nursing mother. What the heck am I going to do with that?

Walla Walla is a college town. I grew up kind of in a college town so I would expect certain things. Such as used book stores, small venues for music, dance, theatre, coffee shops and hopping bars. I haven't seen a single used book store. Now if anyone else who lives here knows where one is I would love to be proven wrong. I think they have a community theatre but I would be more interested in the music.

The town doesn't seem very family friendly. Where are the baby stores, toy stores, play gyms?

So my options are to get drunk and well get drunk....yeah wine!


Now any of those who know me might have trouble believing this but I have no friends. Well I have one very best friend but since she is several hundred miles away I don't get to see her much. We did get tattoos together last time I was visiting. Sounds like a good bonding experience.

That was one thing that I didn't plan on when we decided to travel, the isolation and loneliness. Before while I didn't have a lot of friends I would still socialize. Mostly through the kids. I'd go to other kids parties and socialize with the mothers and at school functions. So I wasn't completely isolated. But now I'm homeschooling and I don't have that. I miss people. So now I'm thinking about taking a class or some such to meet people. Like I was dating or something. But then is it okay to make friends if you are just going to leave again in a couple months. I guess I'm one of those bff kind of people. I like to form lasting relationships not the kind that are dependent on any one situation.

I don't see much point in doing anything now anyways, we are supposed to be done here within the month. Maybe next stop I'll do something. I'm sure that the kids need to socialize as much as I do.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Our first stop

When we first up and moved it was to the Puget Sound area of Washington. Specifically Poulsbo, Washington. It's an adorable little town. The old town section is very like an old Scandanavian town. There are little cafes, and patisseries, little bookshops and art galleries. It was right on the water. We played at the park, visited the Farmer's market, and bought too sugary cookies. While we lived of Poulsbo we spent most of our time visiting many of the other areas.

We went shopping in Silverdale, at the mall or course. There is a huge playground at the fairgrounds shaped like an fort. The kids spent hours playing there.There was always lots of other kids to play with and the days were sunny and warm.

We went to Bainbridge Island several times to play on the beach. The kids would build sand castles and collect sea shells. Journey spent most of the time napping in the shade.

Where we started

We used to live, when we actually had a house, along the Mckenzie River. Lush verdant forests surround a quick, rushing river. The river attracts fishermen and those in for the thrill of white water rafting. Although I have to admit that I haven't done either. Well not on that river at least. Every year in the summer the fish hatchery has a free fishing day where they let children fish out of the ponds. I've taken Sapphire and Kenzie a couple times. It's always fun with a guarenteed catch. The area is a temperate rainforest, it's very wet and loaded with evergreen trees. Every summer we would spend swimming at the river or hiking at one of the many trails. At night we would be seranaded to sleep by a chorus of treefrogs. I miss living there. The house however leaked like a seive, we had scorpians and mice, our main source of heat was a woodstove. So I don't miss the house. I just miss the area. Well it's a great place to go for vacation.

Friday, February 17, 2006

The Colombia river

We traveled east along the Colombia River. It was lovely, forests of poplar trees, eerie in thier symmetry. Multnomah Falls is the second highest year round waterfall in the US. I wish that I had time to stop. Then there is the Bonneville Dam. It's a hydroelectric dam that provides a lot of the electricity for the northwest. It's a huge eyesore that I cannot stand. I wrote a poem about it...

Once mighty river
waters ran wild
rippling with rainbow scales
awesome power
relied a nation.

Reduced to a soft gloss
smooth as satin
with nary a ripple
to lead you onward.

Ladder upon ladder
locke upon locke
barged an upward battle
since when do fish swim in tankers?

A wall of concrete
built upon souls
given unwillingly
for hydroelectricity.

Would Merryweather
recognize this place?

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Working on my Writing

I don't usually make New Year's resolutions but this year I did. It's to try and get published. So far I have been doing a lot of writing but little, as in none, submitting. There is this little fear inside of me keeping me back. If I don't actually try then I cannot fail. You know? So today I am going to submit two of my favorite stories. Wish me luck. I will report back the news either good or bad when I get it.

Suck a Lemon

I think that my son's tastebuds are a little out of whack.

Happy Valentine's day

My mommy loves me. Well and my kids too. She sent us this ginormous box of chocolate. It's got chocolate covered oreos, chocolate covered milanos, chocolate covered fortune I need to go on. I bet your mouth is watering already. Even the box is made out of chocolate. And I was doing so well losing the last few pounds of baby weight. She just didn't want me to be skinnier than her. Right now we wear the same size. I would think that she wouldn't want me to be her size. I am very good at borrowing clothes and either forgetting to give them back or losing them. I had several single shoes of hers. I got rid of them all when we moved but I didn't find the other half when we moved. The scorpions must have been eating them...Ech! We had scorpions at our last house, in the wood pile, under the porch. I really hate scorpions. We lived in the temperate rainforest of the Pacific Northwest, not the high desert. I am so glad to leave those behind but I sure do miss the room, we are rather cramped.

Friday, February 03, 2006

On being a mom

Of course I love being a mother, but there are times that I could gladly wring my childrens necks. Most esspecially my three year old, he tries his hardest to drive me insane. What bothers me the most is keeping him safe. How do you do that with someone who has no concept of fear? He will continue to do something dangerous even though he got hurt doing it the first time. Kenz is constantly covered in bruises and scabs because he's jumping off the furniture or running into the door. He just doesn't slow down. It wears me out.

Journey is a good baby, nurses well, sleeps well, eats anything you put in front of him. I am lucky in that department. Now if I could just get him to stop sticking everything in his mouth.

Homeschooling is going okay. Sas is not the best student. She is so smart and I thought that her natural curiosity would be more of a drive. She'd be happy just drawing all the time. Math is her hardest subject, we are constantly fighting to get a single page done.

Oh the joys of motherhood.