Thursday, October 08, 2009

I cannot believe how long it's been

I am a bad blogger. I deserve a spanking for neglecting this for so long. Let's see school is back in session. Sapphire is in middle school now, if you can believe that. I am much too young to be the parent of a middle schooler. Kenz is in 1st grade, he's doing excellent. Journey is at home with me, all by his lonesome. Not that he's missing the kids much, we get to spend all day together. He has lots of fun mommy time.

Part of the reason that I wasn't on for so long is that my hubby lost his job. Money was super tight and the internet was not a necessity. But things have been working themselves out so I'm not too worried. I guess I have faith that everything will be fine and so it will. I know that sounds really naive but that is just how it has worked.

Before he lost his job I signed up to do several craft fairs here this summer. They were already all paid for and I had all the supplies. So I worked my butt off and got ready and made enough money to pay any bills that needed to be paid. Then we had a yard sale and made enough money so that everything got paid. Then we got a settlement, he hurt his back in Nov. of last year, which we were not expecting. We thought that since the surgery was paid for and he was all better then that was that. So that was an amazing surprise. So you see things just have a way of working out.

I am planning on doing NaNo again this year. I want to do it to finish off my current novel. I figure it'll at least give me a lot of raw material to edit.

I have been working on this novel, well consistently, for about a year now. Some where along the way I lost my voice. It hurts some to read it and see that it's not the same but there is no concrete evidence that it isn't. It's that feeling that you get when you read a book. Now it's not mine anymore.

I've been volunteering for Sidelines for almost a year now. It's been great so far. It feels good to know that I am helping someone who's shoes I was in several years ago. I wish that I could have had someone to just say "Hey, I got through it, it wasn't easy but you can do it too." Bedrest sucks big ones. There are no ifs, ands or butts about it. You are stuck, if you are lucky at home, in a prone position for weeks or even months. You cannot do your own laundry, make your own meals, shop for groceries, or clean your house. You are reliant upon others for most everything. You learn patience, and to let things slide. You go insane with boredom and learn more about yourself than you probably wanted to know. If you are lucky you are not taking daily medications, shots or hooked up to a pump. You are monitoring yourself, or being monitored, for contractions. You over-think and re-count fetal movement like they were seconds on a clock. And with all this, constantly in the back of your mind, is the worry. You are on bedrest because your body is not functioning the way that it should. You worry about your health, your baby's health and the possibility of premature birth or miscarriage. And you do all this isolated and alone most of the time. I think that any woman who makes it through bedrest deserves a medal.