Okay it's the middle of the night and it's not the baby keeping me up. I wish it were because then I know that I'd eventually get back to sleep. Do you think that you ever outgrow what happened in your childhood? Not that mine was all that bad, just your normal family drama now a days pretty much. Still some things just stick. I find myself saying and doing things that my mom did that I hated. I still hate them. After I do it, I really don't know why in the world I did. It's like she possessed me but she's not dead.
I don't want to be a parent like my mother. She didn't do so bad a job. I just don't remember her being there much. I just think that I can do a much better job. Yet I find myself repeating her mistakes. I have to say that I turned out pretty good now. But I had my daughter at 16, I ran away from home at 13. My sister had a baby at 17. I really don't want that for my daughter. I want so much more for her. All I can think of is where did my mom screw up so royally and how can I not?