It's a Beautiful Day

The past couple days have just been beautiful. Definitely out of the norm for the Pacific Northwest, it was sunny! Sunny, warm, with a slight breeze, perfect weather. Unfortunately it's also pollen season so I spent a lot of the time inside. I'm out of honey, which was really helping me last season. Once the Farmer's market starts up, if it hasn't already I have to check, I'll see if I can find a local vendor.

I took advantage of the low humidity to make some candy. I made some toffee and some meringues for friends. Yummy melt in your mouth orange spice meringues. I've gone through two pounds of butter, a 5 lb bag of sugar, four bags of chocolate chips, two cups of almonds, and 18 eggs.

A couple weeks ago I finally got my garden in. I have seeds sprouting all over the place. I cheated a bit and bought cabbage and cauliflower. But I have radishes, carrots, spinach, lettuce and sugar snap peas coming in. I had to rig up a kind of fence because the dog kept running straight through. It's funky looking but it keeps the dog out.

The kids have been working on their "river", otherwise known at the big mud hole they dug in the back yard. I don't mind too much. As long as it stays outside and they don't have the water running all the time.

Texas Trip

So I have been putting this off because frankly I wish I hadn't of gone. It was a very stressful trip.

We left on a Thurs. early morning, stopped by my mom's house to pick up a couple things, then stopped by my mother in laws house to drop off Rocko. The first day went by very uneventfully. We made to the hotel at a semi-decent time. Our first stop was just south of Sacramento.

Here is where things went wrong, I really shouldn't have planned to drive the whole 3,000 miles in 3 days. So not only was I set to drive (non-stop) 12 hours this day, I discovered that my a/c was broken. Today I was driving through southern California and Arizona. It was not fun. It probably took closer to 14 miserable sweaty hours before we made it to our hotel for the night.

This was set to be the longest driving day. Driving to Texas, through New Mexico, with no a/c. It took close to 16 hours, in a car with three kids. Now to make matters worse I have now driven through two time zones so it is two hours later than my clock says when we arrive. So instead of two in the morning it's four in the morning.

Our first day in Texas with the hubby was great. We went to the Kemah boardwalk and road rides all day. They had live music and street performers. Kenzie was the most adventurous but unfortunately his height doesn't match. He couldn't go on a lot of the rides that he wanted to. And I can't find any of the pictures on the computer so sorry.

Our second day in Texas, hubby has to work some in the morning so the kids and I were planning on trying to find a park to play at. On the way to the gas station Journey threw up all over himself, his carseat, the back seat of the van. Yah for projectile vomit! So instead of doing anything fun I spent the day doing laundry and holding a sick boy. Watched a Ben-10 marathon, not much into cartoons but Journey loves it. Hubby took the kids to help clean out the van.

I cannot even remember what we did the next day. I am so tired and miserable, it started raining. I was just wishing that I had stayed home. We had planned on going to NASA but didn't make it with sick kid and rain.

Our last day in Texas we head down to Galveston, check out the hurricane damage and play all day at the beach. The water is so much warmer than the Pacific. It's lukewarm. The water and sand feel a little greasy, oily. When we left the beach my car was covered with a film and I felt like I needed a serious bath.

I gave myself an extra day driving home so we left early the next morning. The drive was actually really great. Everyone behaved and the weather was fine. We arrived in Amarillo at about 7. When I arrived there I was informed that they were expecting a blizzard. It was 73 degrees out so excuse me if I didn't believe them.

Wouldn't you know they got like a foot of snow, 40 mile an hour winds, yeah we were stuck. They closed down all the highways. Huge pileups, accidents all over the place. Great! It is just my luck so far with this trip that I would get stuck in a freak blizzard.

So we wait a day at our hotel, luckily it had an indoor pool. They had a reseraunt in the hotel also but truthfully if I had an option I would have gone somewhere else. The service was awful, they didn't even bring us enough silverware for everyone. The food was even worse.

We started out the next day driving slowly through the ice and snow. It wasn't bad, I've dealt with worse when we lived in Sunriver. By the time we made it to the New Mexico border it had basically cleared up. We made it to our hotel in fine time.

Today we planned on going to the Grand Canyon. Which added an extra two hours to my drive that day but it was worth it. It's just amazing. Mother Nature doesn't like me though. It was freezing cold and windy. The kids got out of the van, walked up to the railing, took a couple pictures and then ran back to the car. They were too cold.

Because of our detour the drive was extra long. Wouldn't you know it, Mckenzie got sick. This time he gave me some warning and I had time to dump out my cd's and give him the box to vomit in. Poor boy. We couldn't stop and let him rest. We finally made it to our hotel at about 11 that night.

Then our last day of driving! I let the kids sleep in, Kenzie needed it. Then breakfast, I love Holiday Inn Express!, and on the road yet again. Begining to feel like a Willy Nelson song here. Kenzie didn't get sick again and things went well.

We had planned on stopping at the Oregon Vortex. It doesn't say from the highway what the hours were but it did say days. It was open that day so we decided to try it. It's way off the beaten path and by the time we got to a sign that said hours we had ten minutes to closing. I thought okay it can't be that much farther down this road we'll get there just in time for the last tour of the day. No we go there at 4:06, yes 6 minutes late. I wasted close to 40 minutes on that detour. But it's not too far from our house that we can't make the trip any old day.

We were so glad to get home. Rocko was so happy to see us. Then the next day I got sick. Spent all night and into the next day vomiting. Then another couple days woozy and weak.

Total miles close to 6,000. Two sick children, one sick mom. Spent close to $1,000 with gas and everything. Wish I would have stayed home.

New Bag

I just love how this one turned out. I want to keep it but seriously how many bags does one woman need. I'm not even diapering so I don't need a bag this big. I love the little rose button. I have enough of the rose fabric to make a purse for myself. When I can find the time.

I have a few other bags cut out and ready to sew up. I'm leaving today though so I won't have time to until I get back on Monday. I'm heading up to visit my Aunt with my Mom and all the kids. It's about 5 hours from me so it's not a huge drive like the Texas trip.

My New Piece of Work

I started this story several years ago. It was based on a nightmare of mine. That obviously set the tone. It's very dark and graphic. I'm giving myself nightmares just writing it. It's helping me explore myself though. I think by finding new and gruesome ways to kill off characters I learn more about the shadowy recess of myself. It's hard and fascinating.

There are times when I have to laugh though. Should someone look at my past Google searches I'm sure that they would be slightly worried with what they find. How long it takes to die from poisoning, the symptoms of snake bites and scorpion stings, visual effects you may experience when drowning...

Needless to say that it is nothing at all like my previous novel. It feels more true to myself and sometimes I worry about what that says about me. I have a sick, twisted mind? or just an overactive imagination.

Dreaming

I always have strange dreams, that's not new. It's not unusual for them to be very vivid either. Lately though it feels different. I can't put it into words what's changed, they feel almost prophetic.

There is a time when you are twilight dreaming, not deep, not awake. Sometimes sounds from the real world will travel into your dreams. That's the time that I am talking about.

I was falling, drifting down, feeling heavy in my center and nothing in my extremities. Then I heard it, "momma, momma", far off and distant. Not a cry, or an exclamation but as if someone were searching for me. It wasn't one of my children's voices, it was a young girl.

I felt like I was looking, searching, trying to meet up with the voice. I jerked awake and called out to see what someone needed. No one answered. I got up and looked through the house, everyone was asleep.

There was something about that half dream that just won't let me go, a feeling like I've lost someone. It still lingers two days later.

Long time no post

I haven't posted in forever! Sorry I will try and do a basic catch up.

Hubby had back surgery, got laid off, found a new job, had a fantastic recovery, is working thousands of miles away and I only get to see him once a month.

Sapphire is back in public school. I'm sad and defeated but it just wasn't working anymore. It's hard enough to be a parent of a preteen without being a teacher at the same time. She's happier, and I'm less stressed. She's doing Girl Scouts and loves it, she's made a lot of new friends.

Mckenzie is doing well in school. He is advanced academically. He had some behavioral issues but we're working them out. The teacher believes that he's ADHD but we are both willing to work on the issue alternatively without using medication so I'm happy with that. I don't think she's entirely wrong but I do think that a lot of it is boredom, he's said that before and she's working on ways to keep up with him.

Journey is 3 almost 4. He's doing all the normal 3 year old things. Bouncing off the walls, drawing on the walls and throwing things at them when he gets upset. He is really into drawing lately and makes some interesting pictures. He is obsessed with dinosaurs, I think he has 7 books now. Not board book either, but like encyclopedia books. He will sit there for a long time just looking through them, he's beginning to tell them apart now.

Me...I'm writing again. That is why I haven't been on much. I have been writing like crazy, I'm about a third of the way through a different novel. It is totally different from the other one. It's a sci-fi/fantasy novel. I was originally writing it as a YA novel because the protagonist is pair of teenage girls but I don't think that will work. It's very dark, graphic and the language is probably too advanced for a younger audience. It's not foul language just what my junior high teacher would call $5 words.

I also volunteered for Sidelines. I have been thinking about this for a long time. With my pregnancy with Sapphire I really would have loved to have known about this organization. Being a teenager, pregnant, on bedrest after a previous miscarriage; it was a very scary and isolated time. So now I am going to be providing support for other women on bedrest. I think it's a fantastic organization and am so proud to be involved.

I'm looking at going back to college in the fall of 2010. Journey will be school age (gasp!) then so I won't have to worry about daycare. Also if there is a small period of time between the kids and me getting home Sapphire will be old enough to watch them. I'm looking to possibly going out of state. Oregon does not have many affordable college choices. It would depend on where I can get it and what kind of financial aid/scholarships I find. It's been difficult looking as most of them are directed at high schoolers. My high school grades are not really relevant and I never did take the SAT's. I was thinking about taking them to see if it would open more options. But I have time, that's why I'm planning so far ahead.

We just got back from a trip to Houston, Texas. It was a hellish drive and I will never do it again. I will update more on that later.

When it rains....

So my wonderful husband hurt his back. He has to go in for surgery soon. Right now he can't even stand for more than a few minutes. He's in a lot of pain and obviously can't work.

Now it seems that I'm going to be put out of business because of a new law that goes into effect in Feb. If you haven't heard about it it's called the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA), it requires that all products produced for children under 12 have third party lead testing. http://www.cpsc.gov/ABOUT/Cpsia/legislation.html

So I either pay some expensive tests, which I have to pay for each item I produce since they are individually unique, or I can get fined.

I'm just one of hundreds that this law will put out of business.
http://earthfirst.com/handmade-toys-to-be-illegal-under-new-consumer-safety-law/

If you've ever bought a homemade toy or children's item of clothing please write your local congressperson or senator!

Back Online

Got a new computer and everything is up and running. I don't have a lot of time to catch up right now. Everyone is healthy and things are going fine. I will catch up later if I can find the time.

Computer is dead

This past week my computer died and the dryer that we just replaced the heating coil on died. What luck!

Since we have moved into this house, about 6 months, the computer has died twice, the satellite, the heating element on the dryer, the electric ignitor on the gas oven, and the gas furnace won't light. It has an electric ignition instead of a pilot light. The furnace is only 3 years old. I've tried cleaning it since I read about some dirty sensor could keep it from lighting. It didn't help. Time to call in the professionals.

I could attribute all of these things to the age of them, since the dryer and the oven are both older models. I'm not sure how old the computer is since it was a hand me down, but I'm sure it's a few years. But the timing is just suspicious. We had the electrical checked out when we bought the house and it ws fine, had some major renovations in recent years. Which was very important since it's over 100 years old. An electrician friend is coming over to check some things out. But other than that I guess it's time for some housekeeping.

I don't know if my computer can be fixed this time. The guy said it was an issue with the motherboard. I don't know when I'll be able to get a new computer. So I don't know how long it will be before I can get back online. I'll miss everyone.

My Melodramatic Kids

Sapphire finished up a theater camp mid July. She had a blast, made lots of friends, and we are still singing "It's a hard knock life...". The kids did great, it was very entertaining.

Now Sapphire and Kenzie are participating in a local childrens play. They are doing Snow White. Sapphire is a woodland animal and Kenzie is a bat. He was very shy and bashful. So unlike himself. I hope they can both meet some kids their own age and make friends. Since we have settled down they haven't met too many kids. It's hard to meet other homeschoolers in a rural area. The nearest group is 20 miles away. With gas prices getting together once a week isn't feasible. So I hope they make some local friends.

Once public school starts back up all the other activities will again also, i.e. Boyscouts, 4H, FFA. And while we haven't done any of those I was hoping since we are settled we could this year.

A Second Honeymoon

We were lucky enough to have our inlaws watch the kids all weekend long so we went camping. I know how romantic is camping. I actually enjoy nature. We went swimming and hiking. Then we went to the coast for the day. It was so nice to just have some peace and quiet. We reconnected. It was so sweet.

Happy Birthday Journey!

I know it's late. My computer died, then he enjoyed his birthday so much that he got sick. So we've been busy. It's amazing how fast time has just flown by. I look down at him and still see in him my little baby. He's not though. He's a big boy now. Waaaaa! He's just a sweetheart. He's very loving and affectionate. He loves to color and build. He doesn't understand gender stereotypes so he's just as likely to be carrying around a doll as he is a truck. Or in his case an animal. He want to paint his nails with his sister and play monster trucks with his brother. He can be very opinionated and bossy. He's my little vegetarian. I have trouble getting him to eat any meat at all except breakfast sausage but he'll wolf down a whole bowl of carrots. He's funny and happy and sure of himself. I hope he keeps all those traits as he grows to be a man. Happy birthday little dude!

My poor old sewing machine

It's having some problems. Lately it's been full speed or dead stop. I don't have a lead foot, really officer. I think it's just the pedal but it sucks big time. I do have a back up machine, ancient and heavy duty. It works fantastic. It doesn't have a bobbin winder. So I have to either thread them by hand, can we say PITA!, or buy a bobbin winder seperate. So a seperate bobbin winder costs about $40, last time I replaced the pedal on my other sewing machine it cost $50. Hopefully this one will be cheaper since it's newer but either way it's going to cost me money.

Journey's Almost 3

Waahhh!! My baby is getting to be so big. He's almost three. I only have one present for him so far. He's easy to please though. I don't know what to do for his birthday. He really is young for a party. We might just go swimming, he loves the water. The Gemini Fest is right after his birthday, I think we'll go this year. But I'm not sure about taking him. I mean a big hippy party in the woods with live music half the night. Mom said that a lot of other people bring thier kids. I just worry about them eating some special brownies or something. It's probably a lot tamer than I am thinking. I haven't gone before, I just dropped my sister off. But I'm not pregant or nursing this year so I'm ready to party. It would be neat to bring my two Geminis though.

The new member of our household

We adopted a kitty. Her name is Kimchi, as in Korean fermented cabbage dish, I think we'll change that. Maybe just Kim, or Kimmie. She's a year and half old. Very laid back. We went to Greenhill Humane, they had a lot of cats. Most ran in fear or hissed and swatted at the boys, who were actually on some of thier best behavior. Little Kimmie came right up to Kenzie and rubbed his legs. She let him pick her up and pet her. I figured if the cat was okay with Kenz it would be good with the rest of the family. He's the wildest of the bunch. She's settled nicely now but is afraid of the dishwasher and will hide when it's running. She doesn't go in the kitchen at all. That's a good thing, I don't have to worry about her escaping if the kids leave the back door open.

Having a Sale

I have all these diapers cut out, just sitting there staring at me. I hate to admit it but some have been cut out and waiting over a year and I'm just now sewing them up. So I am getting all these old one sewn up and selling them cheap. I'm really tired of looking at the same old prints.There is still more coming that I haven't finished with yet. I'm also selling any seasonal diapers that didn't sell, and just ones that have been sitting on the shelf for awhile. It's a "whatever I feel like getting rid of sale". My favorite kind.

www.hyenacart.com/cottagebabies

Notes from the Universe

I love these things. For those that don't know it's little inspirational emails, you can sign up at These are not religious in nature at all. They are more based on the laws of attraction. Which if you haven't heard of you should read The Secret, it's been on Oprah and all over the net. I'm sure you can find all kinds of cool info on it.

My note today really picked me up, Mondays are hard because hubby goes back to work and now they we are settled down I don't go with him. So I won't see him again until Friday. It sucks big fat ones, I don't. I edited out my name but here it is. I hope it picks you up and if it does, sign up, it's free.

Happiness is what greases the wheels of life. It's also what opens the floodgates, marshals the forces, commands the elements, raises the sun, aligns the stars, beats your heart, heals what hurts, turns the page, makes new friends, finds true love, calls the shots, waves the wand, connects the dots, feeds your mind, frees your soul, rocks the world, and pays compound interest.

Yeah, so easy to forget.

Wild on,
The Universe

Some holiday pics

Grandma took them all to Build a Bear instead of getting them loads of candy. Yah!!!
Journey has been sleeping with his elephant, he calls it his best friend.



Dyeing Eggs at Grandma's House

Before and After Pics

I don't have an after pic of the dining room yet because I'm still working on the trim but I'll post a before pic and catch up later with an after. This isn't the best pic but it's the only one on this camera. Here is the living room, we already started priming the trim in these pictures as it was black when we moved in.




After, painting and removing the carpet. There is a small section near the fireplace where we left the carpet since it's just plywood. We'll probably just cover it with tile when we re-tile the base of the fireplace.

Terrible Twos

Journey has been hitting his with a vengence. In the last week alone he spit his milk all over himself, dumped out a bucket full of marbles, hit his sister and brother too many times to count, filled the toilet with toilet paper, and went around smashing ants with his plastic hammer. This is only a stage, this is only a stage, this is only a stage....

Snap problems

I guess I should not have my hubby assist with the snap press, he has cracked three snaps now, and not all on the same diaper. I guess he doesn't know his own strength. I hate replacing snaps because they are a pain to get off.

Is there such a thing as too many diapers?

Now Journey is getting closer to potty training and I am only using a fraction of all the diapers that he has. I get kind of overwhelmed. I am going to have to sell off some of these. I don't really want to. I really would just love to have another babe to put in them but we know how that goes. Another problem, I keep seeing cute prints that Journey would love and want to make another diaper out of them. I have a few already cut up but not yet sewn. I really should be sewing up some trainers instead of even more fitteds. Is there such a thing as too many diapers?

Some thoughts

Okay retyping everything frustrates me to no end. I am nit picking. I am thinking about cutting out the first chapter entirely. It does provide a nice introduction to the characters and such. It just doesn't seem to have much of a hook. I like the second chapter better, I think it just has more character. But it doesn't provide much of an introduction which I would have to write in later. Ack! It's too late to be analyzing this. After one a.m. but I can't write until the kids are asleep because I can't think with them running around. If don't focus on them they do things like try and flush a whole roll of toilet paper down the toilet.

Also have a couple serious problems, A: I am addicted to fragment sentences, I think it's from too much poetry... B: My story changes person from time to time. I can't even think of a correct wayto say that but occasionally it's first person then others its third. Okay at least I got it all out, now I'll try and mull it over while I sleep. Although it's more likely that I have another weird ass dream and think of a totally different story idea. If you have any suggestions feel free to suggest, I need some sleep now.

Ch. 2

Chapter Two

“Mrs. Hensey are you ready?” The cute little blond technician looked young enough to be my daughter and she wanted to put that thing where?

“Umm, don't you think the doctor should be doing that?” I asked, not entirely sure that she knew how to use it properly. After all I'd never had this procedure before.

“I am fully qualified to do this, don't worry I've done it many times before. Now it's no more uncomfortable than inserting a tampon. Could you lift your hips up a little and scoot your butt down? Thank you.” At least she didn't lie, I hate it when they say it's just a like a bee sting, that has to be the biggest stinger, a world record book holder. It looked about like a spatula handle covered with a condom. It was faintly uncomfortable just having a woman do this. That wasn't counting the awkward position that I was in. Still not as bad as I was expecting.

“If you look at the screen you'll see your baby. There is the little arms, and there's the head. Oh, and another head, and four legs.” At this point I was starting to wonder if I was having an alien baby, which would explain how I'd gotten pregnant in the first place.

“Congratulations, it's twins.” Her sweet doll face was just beaming at me, she was obviously more excited than I was. In one fell swoop I went from being the mother of three to the mother of five. I would have to become one of those minivan moms. Ech! My non-response didn't seem to faze her as she continues on naming the parts and telling me what went to which baby. She even printed up pictures, so I could happily share the news with my friends and neighbors no doubt.

“Before we finish could you take a picture of my tubes so that I can show my doctor what a crappy job he did. I think I want my money back. If he was a mechanic and his repairs were faulty I'd expect him to at least fix it for free. I'm going to ask.” The look on her face was priceless. A combination of shock, horror and awe crossed all at the same time. I would have to practice weeks to get the same face in the mirror. Where is a camera when you need one? Oh yeah it's shoved up my twat. She did as I asked and after that stopped being so chatty. She did tell me I was about 10 weeks along and that she'd send the results to my doctor.

I barely restrained my laughter till the car. There I sat in my station wagon laughing so hard that tears were running down my face in the middle of the parking lot. A large pregnant woman walked by and I just started all over again. She was about the size of a small elephant and it wasn't all stomach. I could see myself like that in a few months. Between my butt and my belly I don't know if my stubby legs will be able to reach the pedals. I might actually have to have my kids drive me. Now that would be a hoot. Making them sit in the waiting room of the Ob's office surrounded by moody pregnant women. Might just make them swear off sex, at least unprotected, for a good long while. I might just have to do that even if I don't need to.

After I calmed down it all started to sink in. I just sat there in the car until my fingers started to get numb from the cold. I started the car up and as the windshield unfogged I started to get a glimmer of excitement about the twins. Two at one time. I hope they are identical. Two boys would be nice, especially for Jerry's sake. Boys are so much easier when they get to be teens than girls so far. I still have one more girl to hit the teens but she's acting just like her big sister did at that age so I have little hope. I could buy cute little matching outfits. Little baseball jerseys with matching caps. With that thought in my head and a less maniacal grin on my face, I headed home to share the news.

Ch. 1

Chapter One

“Well Carol, looks like congratulations are in order. The tests came back positive, you're pregnant.” Dr. Shwinn smiled down at me in my lovely white gown, my butt crack cooling in the breeze.

“No, you see I had my tubes tied 9 years ago. I can't be pregnant. It's a mistake.” I was in total disbelief. I was done having kids. I'll be 40 in a few months. It just has to be a bad mistake.

“You are pregnant, I would guess from the internal exam about 12 weeks. I will schedule an ultrasound to get an exact date. I guess you are just one of the lucky .01 percent.” Says the young man who will never know the “joys” of pregnancy. I just sit there staring at him. This was never in my plans, and I like planning. I don't do surprises well. Oh hell, how am I going to tell my husband. He is just going to flip.

All the way home I spent rehearsing what I would say in my head. Over and over I imagines the look of shock on his face and every possible emotion from joy and excitement to anger. I cannot imagine what his response is going to be. And the kids, how are we going to tell them, it doesn't see fair to bring a new baby in at this stage. I could really use some chocolate.

My husband, Jerry, wasn't home when I got there so I decided, what the hey, might as well forget my diet since I'm going to be gaining anyways. My old recipe box lay waiting expectantly on the top shelf, covered in dust, looking more gray than cream. Inside lay all the decadent joys from my days of a quick metabolism: 7 lb brownies, chocolate meringues, and raspberry truffles. I finally had a good excuse to break out the box. My mouth started watering at the thought of melting chocolate morsels with gooey caramel swirls. I swear I could almost smell the scent of brownies baking.

My kitchen was the reason we bought this house. Long expanses of warm silestone, perfect for rolling cookies, or kneading bread. A double wall oven, commercial grade gas stove, even a butcher block island. It's a cooks dream. I know all those stainless steel appliances are all the rage but my lovely cream ones are so much more inviting. They go well with the butter color that I made Jerry paint on the walls. It is so warm, reminds me of fresh baked bread with melting butter.

On the top shelf, in the cabinet above the stove, lies my little cream box. Reaching it requires an Olympic feat of gymnastics, with bending and reaching. Dust flies as I pull it down and clutch it to my chest like a life-line. The absolute healing qualities of chocolate are not to be underestimated. I didn't have time to do much more than choose a recipe and make up a grocery list before the kids got home. So many choices, so little time.

I was rummaging through the box when my husband walks in. At 43 he still knocks my socks off, along with the rest of my clothes, which is what got us into this predicament in the first place. Tall, dark and handsome, those high cheek bones and broad forehead he inherited from some Native American ancestor just get better with age, his black hair is peppered with a few grays and his stomach is not as rock hard as when we first met. He's still hot to me. I guess the phrase love is blind might apply here, I still see the man I married when I look at him. He smiles revealing those dimples as soon as he sees me.

“Hey there sexy, you're home early.” I lay a smoocher on him.

“Just finished up a project, hey where are the kids? It's too quiet.” He wraps his arms around my waist and snuggles my backside up to him. His lips lay warm upon the back of my neck. I can feel his breath hot sending tingles down my spine.

“Jody is at soccer practice, Jesse is at some friends house and Jaimy is at Lisa's house, they should be gone until at least 7.” I wiggled my rump up against his crotch. Might as well get him into a good mood before I break the news.

“Mmmm, then we have the house to ourselves.” A kiss behind my ear. “I can think of a few ways to pass the time” A nibble on my ear lobe. “Maybe right here in the kitchen” He starts to unbutton my shirt. The rest I'm sure you can imagine but I won't share because it's none of your business. Lets just say we started out in the kitchen, then the hall, finally making it to the bedroom. You would think we were still honeymooning.

“I feel like jello.” I lay slated and exhausted upon the bed, the evening light casting stripes along my stomach and thighs. He mumbled a response. I gathered that this would be a good time to tell him the news.

“Hey honey, I've got some news. I'm pregnant.” And just like that he woke up, sat straight up in bed and his eyes about popped out of their sockets. If I hadn't been so nervous it would have been hilarious.

“You're joking right? That's not very funny, you had your tubes tied right after Jaimy was born.”

“I'm not joking, I went to the doctor today. I'm one of the lucky .01 percent.” I say with a satirical smile. I'm sure the sarcasm was thick enough to lick off the walls it just crowded the room. “I'm glad you are taking this so well.” I say as he jumps away from me like it's contagious.

“What are we going to do?” he asks like it's an option. I don't recall him carrying around a kicking squirming fetus before.

“We are going to have a baby. Just like the last one, you remember, pink bald, cries a lot, poops even more. One of those things.”

“Okay, I wasn't sure if you'd want to have it since you did have your tubes tied.” Now it was my turn to stare at him in disbelief, this man was my husband? I can't believe this is the same man who when we were first married and found out my friend had an abortion could barely say a word to her. I guess the show is on a different foot now. Almost makes me look at him differently.

“What are you talking about? Of course I'm having it, are you crazy or sick? I think we need to take you to a doctor?”

“I wouldn't want you to but you've never been apposed to the option. I just thought you didn't want to have anymore kids, that all.”

“At the time I didn't think we could afford anymore kids, I would have loved to have more. Now we can afford them and I wasn't planning it but I want this baby.” I was starting to get all teary eyed, those hormones must be kicking in. He lays down next to me and wraps his arms around me. He gently kisses my forehead like he does when the kids are crying. The tears just sort of flow, dripping down my nose onto his naked chest. Although I hadn't planned it I was starting to get attached to this baby, it was already a part of me. It was a miracle that I hadn't even prayed for. It was suddenly very important that Jerry be happy for the baby. I didn't want this baby coming into the world and having it's father resent it.

“Well I guess it's one more chance to even out the odds. Us guys are a little outnumbered. Of course if it's a girl then we'd really be outnumbered. Will we have to think of more J names or shall we break from tradition?” I could feel his smile against my forehead and I knew that everything would be alright.

My novel

For those interested... I had to recover my laptop and made backup discs of everything. But then I couldn't get anything off the backup discs afterwards. I do have a printed copy up to chapter 15 where Jesse gets arrested for minor in possesion. I do have a printed copy of the unedited version that I wrote up for nano too so I have all the major parts still. I just have to re-type the whole dang thing into my computer. Ugg! So if you are wondering when the next chapter is coming...not any time soon. But don't worry, she'll have to give birth eventually. Poor woman has had a two year plus pregnancy.

Look What I Found

Under the carpet in the living room....There is a 3 foot square section where someone cut out the hardwood and replaced it with plywood. It's next to the fireplace so we figure some kind of fire damage maybe. We'll replace that section or do some built-ins, haven't decided yet but I'll post pics when we are done. We painted the living room also. It's now a lovely pale mint with blue white trim. It was puce with black trim, and someone thought they'd do some faux marble or some such on the trim so it wasn't just black but black with yellow streaks. I think someone was colorblind. If I can find my camera again I'll see if I can get some more pictures.

All settled

We are in and mostly unpacked. Doing some home improvement work, painting, window treatments and such. Nothing too expensive yet because we are saving to put a new roof on this summer. The roof over the garage is too shallow a grade for the type of roof on there so it leaks during heavy rain. I'm only on dial-up so it's really slow. I'll try and post some pictures if I can. Made some friends, the neighbor on one side has young children so the kids are happy.

Moving!

We got the house and are moving in. I don't have a lot time to update. I am at the library right now. Hopefully we'll get the internet set up within a couple weeks. I'll post when I can but as I rarely have more than two minutes of privacy at the library it won't be often.

A little behind

I will admit to being a little old-fashioned, behind on the times, and slow to catch up. I think it reflects my upbringing. How many people are raised on the family farm, with their grandparents? But I just realized I love texting. If only for the reason that I can send hubby dirty messages without the kids hearing or worrying about any of his co-workers overhearing. It's great for when he's out of town. Now he knows exactly what I'm going to do to him when he gets home, if I can keep the kids out of the bed.

Happy Valentine's Day

Aww a day for love. Now I'm not Catholic and really don't care too much about St. Valentine but a day about love to me is just wonderful. Now everyday should be a day that you dedicate to your love, however I'm realistic and know that sometimes life gets in the way of love. We all get busy and some nights go to bed without telling our loves how special they are to us. I know there are nights where I am lying in bed trying to calm down my mind and I'll think over the day. I haven't kissed my hubby all day. Of course I have to wake him just to kiss him. So give all your loved ones and extra kiss today. We are making, I <3 you cookies to give to our special someones. I'll save an extra big one full of green m&m's for my hubby.

Ewww!

Little boys can be so gross. Journey picked his nose and stuck his finger right up in my face. So sweet offering me his bugger. Of course I refused, I believe I said "Eww, I don't want your bugger." His response "But it's yummy."

Happy Birthday to me!

Will not tell my age but I'm okay with it. Not getting old yet although I have days when I feel about 60. Having three kids can do that. I got breakfast in bed. Started doing the taxes, yeah money! I really wish hubby would change his exemptions so they wouldn't take so much out each year rather than get a large return. I'm going to have dinner with my family and cheesecake.

On house news, we finally got in to do the repairs. I'm tired and sore. I havent' physically worked that hard in awhile. What a lazy broad I have gotten to be. Hopefully close by the end of the week, keep those fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly.

Frustrated- house stuff.

I am pulling my hair out here. In order for us to get financing for the house a few minor repairs, and I mean minor like outlet covers, have to be done. We are willing to do the repairs ourselves, out of our pockets, but the seller of the home just won't get back to us giving us permission to do it. So we are just stuck. Originally we had to close by the 6th or else we had fees of $40 a day after that. No way we will close by then now. Doesn't even look like we'll close at all. Right now as long as we can get our earnest money back I'm ready to just back out and say let them try and find another buyer. With this market, I think they are crazy.

Various thoughts and such...

So I haven't been working much on my writing because my computer just pooped out. Once it gets fixed I'll be able to. Right now I am using my mom's computer for the various things that I do on it. I miss writing though. I feel kind of guilty just leaving my characters in limbo. Poor thing has had a two year pregnancy with twins...

So while we were house hunting hubby and I were fighting like cats and dogs. I swear I was ready to strangle him in his sleep. He just got on my nerves. But now that he's been gone for work all week I miss him like crazy. I can appreciate the relative calm, as calm as it can be with three kids, while he's been gone. It's like the intensity in house has gone down a couple notches. What does that say about our marriage?

I have been thinking about adoption and fostering. I'd like to be a foster mom. Hubby and I have talked about it and he's open to the idea but thinks we need to wait awhile. He wants to wait until we have $10,000 in savings. That will take forever because we just spent every last dollar we had buying this house, and we'll probably need to borrow a few from our parents for closing costs. So we'll have to pay that back. Then the house needs some work. Not huge major things but it's 100 years old, what do you expect. So most of our extra money will be going to towards that. I try and tell him that you don't have to pay to foster like you do with adoption but he wants us to be more stable. I've kind of been feeling that it'll never happen. There's some part of me that doesn't feel as if our family is complete yet. I know that Sapphire wants a little sister. At times I'll look back and think that a child is missing when I check to make sure everyone is buckled in the van. It just feels off. ((SIGH)) All I need is time I suppose, either to convince hubby or reconcile myself to having three children. I know most people think I'm crazy for wanting more. I guess I am a bit.

You knock my socks off!

Any holiday where you get candy is one of my favorites! Hello, my name is Elaina, I am a chocoholic... So of course I love Valentine's Day, I saw this fabric and couldn't resist. It's just too cute.

Hubby was teasing me that I'd have to change the name of my company from Cottage Babies since we'll be moving to Mill City. I don't think Mill Babies has the same ring to it... Maybe just City Babies...? I don't think so.

Recent custom

So a friend and I traded, she sent her fabric in to be made into diapers. They turned out great. Why would anyone use disposables when cloth diapers are so darn cute?!? The insides are minkee and bamboo velour. It's so super soft, I seriously want some underwear made out of this stuff, beats plain ole cotton anyday.

Dragging on and on

I am so ready to move into that house but still no date for closing. It just seems to drag on and on. I'm tired of being stuck in the trailer with the kids. It's fine in the summer but it's just been to cold out to go out and do a lot of stuff lately. There aren't many free indoor things to do. I don't have a local library card because we don't have an address. I'm tired and a little frustrated. I just wish that I could move in tomorrow. Part of the problem is that dh is working out of town all week and only coming home on the weekends so it's just us.

Okay enough pouting. I just finished a trade with another lady. I made diapers for her and she knit some longies and a hat for Journey. I made a shirt to match and a diaper but you can't see that. I'm running low on fabric now. I need to go shopping but nothing is selling right now. So I can't exactly go shopping right now either. So here's to all my inventory selling out and my shopping spree. :)


I also dyed my hair. It's a little funky, I dyed it blond first but I looked too pale and washed out. Now it's red with purple streaks.

Some catch up

So we spent the fall in Cle Elum, Washington...it's a small town at the base of Snoqualmie Pass. There is a lot snow there in the winter but I didn't want to stay and see. It's a very beautiful area though. We were lucky enough to live right down the street from other kids. So the kids were in seventh heaven, everyday we would go over visiting. We had so much fun. We plan on going back in the spring once the snow melts.

Happy Holidays

We had a wonderful holiday season. All the kids ate too much candy, made gingerbread houses and tore half the ornaments off the tree. I bit my husbands head off at least a dozen times. We ran from one family member's house to another and ate too much. All in all a good holiday.

We are currently house hunting, part of the biting my husbands head off. As if the holiday season is not streasfull enough add to it spending 4 hours a day in a car driving around with your husband and three kids. I am going insane. I am practically bald with all the hair I've been pulling out. I'm tired and grumpy and emotional. Ready to just give up the hunt, really. Fine we will live in the trailer forever. (sigh)

Some pictures

Happy Halloween!

Fall is my favorite season

All Settled

So we've moved yet again and are all settled in. It's a lovely park not far from our families. Perfect for the holidays. We moved just in time too. The day after we moved there was 4 inches of snow. I am not fond of snow. I really hate the cold. The kids were sad though. They wanted to go sledding and stuff with their friends. We will be back there in the spring after the snow melts though. But for now we are staying here near our families for the holidays.

No pods

They don't have the service in my area. That just sucks. So today I go down to find a storage unit to rent. I've got boxes scattered through-out the whole house. I have wrangle with my dh about what goes and what stays. He wants to keep some insanely large pieces of furniture. I want to keep a few boxes of books. I would compromise on the books if he would compromise on the furniture. We had a small talk about it last night so we will see what comes of it.

I thought about having a yard sale but that just seems like so much work and the only time I would have to hold it is in the middle of the week. Who goes to a yard sale on Wed? So I will be getting tax deductions care of Goodwill.

Moving again

No big surprise there. We will be headed to lovely central Washington, within a couple weeks most likely. Dh is heading up there tomorrow to check out the job and plan and whatever things he does to prepare for a new job, order parts?? I am not exactly sure but it requires planning and organization two things which I am sorely lacking. Both of which are kicking me in the butt right now as I get ready to move. I have boxes and boxes of stuff. Did I mention that I have a small tendency to be a pack rat? But I am overcoming that, the local freecycle and Goodwill are my friends. Now if people would come when they say they are going to but that's another matter.

No pictures of my mess but there has to be a better way. Has anyone tried one of those Pods storage things? I was thinking that would be nice since they deliver it. We have some family pieces of furniture that we have to put into storage but I'm not that attached to much else. Except my books, if I've read them why is so hard to get rid of them? There are few books that I will read again and again. Most of them I would consider reference books (love Dr. Sears!). But really how many reference books do I need, and do I really need to keep my A&P and Chemistry text when I won't be finishing school until Journey start Kindergarten at least. Help, my name is Elaina and I have a problem. I hoard useless books!

At the Beach

We went for a little camping trip to the coast with my mom, dad, sister, niece, and of course all of my kids. Poor dh was working so hard that he couldn't make it. We went to a wildlife park on Sat. The kids had a blast! There were a lot of little babies there, and tons of animals that you could pet and hold.

Then on Sunday we did a little shopping, of course, there were three women! Then went to the beach. Everyone got covered in sand, wet and a little sunburnt.


I think I should get postcards made, what do you think? A little thing I did for dh, I missed him. We went to the coast on our honeymoon so it's always special.

We will be heading out in our land yacht to lovely Central Washington here soon. I'm going to miss all the friends that we've made here. We will come back and visit though. I'm packing since we've been in a real house for the past several months we've accumulated a bunch of junk! I can't believe how fast it piles up. My 5 rubbermaid totes of just fabric surely doesn't help. It's hard choosing what goes into storage and what we take with us. All this packing reminds me of when we first started. I wrote a little poem about it way back then.

Jen I'm working on it, you wouldn't be interested in reading timelines, and outlines and notes though.

I spend way too much time here!

The "P" Word

Potty training, okay it's actually two words. We are getting to this point now with Journey. The other day he was having some nakie time and told me that he had to poo. And unbelievably he actually did, several times. He'd poo, look in the potty chair, empty it out into the toilet then sit and do it all over again. About 5 times. A couple hours later he went on the potty again. Quite a feat for a not quite two year old.

Now you think I'd be jumping for joy but I'm actually kind of sad. I'll miss my pretty diapers. I know I'm a weirdo. But it's also a sign that he's growing up, that he's not a baby anymore. That's what really makes me sad.

I asked him this morning if he was my baby or my big boy. He said my baby. Wahhh! Why do they have to grow up so fast?!?

Random Pics

See Smoky was right, always make sure that your campfire is completely out. This is so much more dramatic in the spring/summer. When there isn't snow on the ground. The amount of devesation is just amazing. Journey took a picture of me. I'm not sure why it ended up all red. I have not edited this except to rotate it.

Covered Bridge. I really love the little town where this is and would love to finally settle down there. It's pretty close to all our family without being close enough that they are over at our house all the time.

How come no one told me?

All this time it has said "The nomadic life of a almost normal family". I can't believe no one corrected my grammer before now. I've had it like that for what almost a year now. I'm sure it wouldn't bother a normal person but that's just gonna annoy me now.

Potty time and claymation

Well I got Journey a potty. It's kind of sad because it's one more step towards him growing up. He likes to sit on it but has yet to "do" anything in it. He is telling me when he goes. Also when he's running around naked he makes pissing sounds like he's going. Boys! So he's interested, lets see how long this takes though. Mckenzie wasn't fully potty trained until he was almost four and Sapphire was just three.

On a totally different note Sapphire has taken up an interest in claymation. She loves to do art projects. Has been making these great tiny incredibly detailed litttle things for the longest time. Well she started making flip books after reading Captain Underpants. I told her that she could to the same kind of thing with her clay. So now she's running off with my camera all the time. It's really cute. She needs to work on some fundimentals, such as the camera should be in the same place everytime you take another photo, that way they actually look like they are moving. But she's figuring it out. I think I need another software program so that I can put them all together to make a little movie. I just slideshow them now. Any ideas on this would be great.

Name Two

Two Names You Go By 1.Elaina 2.Lainy

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:1 Jeans 2. Tank

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship 1. Trust 2. friendship

Two of Your Favorite Things to do:1.Beat my dh at cribbage 2. Read a good book

At The Moment:1.Watching American Idol 2. Eating Popcorn

Name two people who will fill this out: Probably no one

Two things you ate today: 1. Clam Chowder 2. M&Ms

Two people you Last Talked To:1.My Mom 2. Randy

Two Things You're doing tomorrow:1.Sewing a couple diapers 2. Laundry

Two longest car rides: 1.Mexico 2.Montana

Favorite Holidays:1.Halloween 2.Christmas

Two favorite beverages:1.Hot and Spicy tea 2. Cranberry rasberry juice

Two of your favorite things to wear:1.Jeans 2.Boots

Two songs you love to listen to: 1. The lighthouse by Nicklecreek 2.The Christans and the Pagans by Dar Williams

Fun in the Snow

As much as I complain about the snow and the cold the kids love it. My inlaws were over this weekend. I'm lucky, I don't have the dreaded inlaws. I just love them to pieces. We had so much fun playing in the snow. We made snow men and sledded. My father in law even tried to snow board. I will hand it to him he stayed upright. Better than I. Kenzie kept getting cold and running back inside the house. He kept taking his gloves off. But Sapphire will stay outside all day long if I let her.

Sick

For the last two weeks someone in this household has been sick, constantly. I am just tired. Journey is sick now, poor thing. Coughing, snotty nose, fever...just icky. As a result he's been having trouble sleeping and so have I. Someone send some healthy household vibes my way. I could use them.

Visitors

In our backyard, taken by my budding photographer, Sapphire.

Been Busy

Can you be busy and lazy at the same time? I don't know it seems like I'm always doing something and yet nothing is ever getting done. The house is always a mess and the pile of laundry to fold is taller than me. Of course that's not a hard feat with my stature.

Sapphire loves the snow and is always outside. Kenzie however takes after me and hates the cold and whines after about 10 minutes outside. Journey like to see the snow and be outside but doesn't like to touch it or walk in it. So I end up carrying him around.

There is a small mound of dirt around the side of the house from construction of the house. It's perfect for sledding with the little ones. It's only about 4 ft. tall and not very steep. So we got a few sleds. Theres a three person plastic one that I take Journey down the hill with me on. He loves it and says "weeee" the whole way down. However we had our first sledding accident today. Not serious but the plastic sled has kind of sharp side and Kenzie scraped some skin on his finger. It was awful for him though. He kept crying that this is the worst day ever. Of course once he had a bandage on he was running around playing as if nothing happened.

Update

So we've settled down in our new house. Well new to us at least. It feels so huge after being in that little trailer. In fact the master suite is about the same square footage as our whole trailer! I don't know how we are ever going to get back in the trailer when our lease runs out. It'll really feel tight after this.

The kids are loving thier own rooms, making a mess of them and we are constantly fight to keep them clean but they're kids so what's new. We had a great Christmas and New Years. Went down to visit with all the family and had a great time. I got my butt kicked playing a new card game but of course Randy won. So I lost my money but since Randy won the pot I got it back in a round-about way.

We had a quiet New Years with just the kids and us at home staying up late eating junk food and watching TV.

Sapphire is learning cursive, which she thinks is just stupid and squiggly lines. Still for all her arguing she's doing well. She's working on multiplication and division, she does really well with fact families but not so good with testing. But it's just something you have to memorize so she'll get it eventually.

Kenzie is off the wall as usual. We have a ton of snow but he hates getting cold so he's cooped up quite a bit. He's learning to write his letters and loves to read books.

Journey is talking up a storm. Speaking in full sentences and really letting you know what he wants. He suprises me all the time. I think the first full sentence he said was "I want candy" He cracks me up. He such a little comedian. He's always making silly faces or putting things on his head like hats.

We don't have internet service right now. Hope to have some by the end of the week. I'll update more later when I have the chance. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a fantastic New Year ahead of you.

Let it snow

I don't know how well I am going to adjust to this colder weather. I do not do well in the cold, my bones ache and I just get generally grumpy. But the kids love it. They are really looking forward to having a lot of snow. I am wishing that dh had gotten sent to Arizona. It was -2 the other night. Seriously, it's just barely November, not even techinically winter. Brrrr. I tried to get all three of them to just stay still and look at me long enough to take a picture. Ha what a joke. I have immense respect for portrait photographers now. It was just a little snow but
there were already several car accidents. And you should have seen the line at the tire place. The whole parking lot was filled with cars and then the net two blocks. Just outrageous. I don't think I'll be getting studded tires anytime soon.

On better news we will probably be moving next weekend. I can't wait to get into a real house, get to take a bath in a real tub, cook in a real oven, instead of one that's a step up from a doll house. I'll be sure to post some pics once we get moved in. It'll be pretty bare, we don't have much furniture stored so we'll have to shop around for somethings like a couch. I don't care if I have to sit on the floor, it'll be a real house. Yah!

Little Update

We are somewhat settled here in Central Oregon. We are looking for a house to rent. We'll be here for 6 months probably and I am getting really cramped. It's kind of hard to think that we've been doing this for a year. I remember when we first bought the trailer and started traveling that I wondered if it was going to work. I worried about there being room for Journey to learn to crawl and walk. I worried about the lack of privacy, can you believe that there weren't locks on any of the interior doors? Who doesn't have a lock on thier bathroom door? I was afraid of burning myself every time that I lit the stove, I must have jumped back a couple inches each time.

So now we are used to it and it feels like home. It's a distant memory living in a realy house. And I get my husband home every night. I think that this whole thing has brought us a lot closer together, and not just physically. We rarely fight anymore. It's odd that we'd spend so litle time together before and spend half of that bickering. I think that the financial strain of the rental and such being gone has helped a lot. At least as far as I am concerned. Of course we still argue about what a slob I am. But it seems that we are both getting back to basics in a sense and connecting more. Who would have thought that living in a travel trailer and moving every few months would be good for a family?

Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awarness

I'm lighting a candle for all the lost babies, including my own. We all have different ways of dealing with loss. I guess writing about it helps me. I was hard getting prenant after losing a child, each time was different. There was a certain guilt because it could have been prevented, just a little stitch and my baby would have lived. I guess I still live with that. I don't know if you believe in reincarnation but there was a feeling that my baby came back to me.

Happy Birthday Sapphire

Dark lashes spider walk across pale cheeks
Freckles dance between the webs
Spinning dreams behind eyelids.

Snuffling breath shallow in your chest
Whistling through your missing teeth
Giggling sighs under tangled sheets.

I cherish the moments of angelic serenity
That are missing in the daylight,
As I watch you while you sleep..

I can't believe it's been 9 years. I still remember the first time I saw you, all blue and purple over the sheet for the few moments before they wisked you off to the NICU. I was so scared and so in love with you. When I finally got to hold you I just stared, you were such a miracle. One that I wasn't expecting and didn't think I'd have. I count my blessings everyday. You are still my miracle. I love you.

A Last Look At Summer

The park that we are staying in has an outdoor pool. All summer long the kids have been swimming in it. It's great. You should see little Journey. The first time that I put him in the water he immediately started doggy paddling. He was litterally pushing himself out of my arms trying to swim around the pool. It was just instinctive. I call him my little water puppy.

Kenzie has started swimming without his lifejacket. He swims like a mermaid. Both legs together kinds of waving along. He only swims under water. He has yet to learn to bring his head up to breath and then go back under. So he'll swim to you or along the wall where he can touch.
.

Now Sapphire is scared of the water. She's the only child that's had swimming lessons yet she won't swim where she can't touch. She will only doggy paddle and is completely resistant to me or dh trying to teach her any other way. We worked out the goal that if she swam all the way from one end of the pool to the other that she could have a pool party. Well the pool is now closed for the season and no party. I'm sad because I don't want her to miss out on things because of fear. Still she loves the water, she just can't really swim

My Grand Opening

Preview is up, Grand opening set for Sept. 23 at noon. There are two free raffles and free shipping on all items. Check it out.

http://www.hyenacart.com/cottagebabies/