Friday, January 25, 2008

Various thoughts and such...

So I haven't been working much on my writing because my computer just pooped out. Once it gets fixed I'll be able to. Right now I am using my mom's computer for the various things that I do on it. I miss writing though. I feel kind of guilty just leaving my characters in limbo. Poor thing has had a two year pregnancy with twins...

So while we were house hunting hubby and I were fighting like cats and dogs. I swear I was ready to strangle him in his sleep. He just got on my nerves. But now that he's been gone for work all week I miss him like crazy. I can appreciate the relative calm, as calm as it can be with three kids, while he's been gone. It's like the intensity in house has gone down a couple notches. What does that say about our marriage?

I have been thinking about adoption and fostering. I'd like to be a foster mom. Hubby and I have talked about it and he's open to the idea but thinks we need to wait awhile. He wants to wait until we have $10,000 in savings. That will take forever because we just spent every last dollar we had buying this house, and we'll probably need to borrow a few from our parents for closing costs. So we'll have to pay that back. Then the house needs some work. Not huge major things but it's 100 years old, what do you expect. So most of our extra money will be going to towards that. I try and tell him that you don't have to pay to foster like you do with adoption but he wants us to be more stable. I've kind of been feeling that it'll never happen. There's some part of me that doesn't feel as if our family is complete yet. I know that Sapphire wants a little sister. At times I'll look back and think that a child is missing when I check to make sure everyone is buckled in the van. It just feels off. ((SIGH)) All I need is time I suppose, either to convince hubby or reconcile myself to having three children. I know most people think I'm crazy for wanting more. I guess I am a bit.

No comments: